와, 한국말 잘 하시네요!*

* = wow, you speak Korean so well!

 No, I don't.

Depending on where I am/who I am with/what the situation is, I hear this roughly between 3 and 15 times per day.  It is practically obligatory the first time someone meets me.  But most hilariously to me, it usually comes at the start of the conversation, not after someone has practically established whether or not I am conversant in Korean at all.  An example (using JM Unni for convenience):

Jung Min Unni: Oppa, this is my friend Dana/Jangmi.
Me: (in Korean) Hi, it's nice to meet you.
Random Friend of Jung Min Unni's: Wow, you speak Korean so well!

Now, Random Friend, how, exactly, did you manage to glean that?  I feel the same way when I offer my seat to ajummas on the subway with a simple "아주머니, 앉으세요 (Please take my seat, ma'am)."  All I said was one stupid thing!  This crap is written in guidebooks that foreigners use to get around Korea.  Also, every English teacher in Korea, even the dumb frat boy ones, knows how to greet people in Korean.  Well, okay, so I don't actually know that.

My point here is that Koreans are ridiculously quick to laud a foreigner who says even the most rudimentary of things to them in Korean, which hearkens back to my post on the forced atmosphere of politeness in Korean society.  If I were to continue the conversation listed above, it would look something like this:

Jung Min Unni: Oppa, this is my friend Dana/Jangmi.
Me: (in Korean) Hi, it's nice to meet you.
Random Friend of Jung Min Unni's: Wow, you speak Korean so well!
Me: Oh, no I don't, I have a long way to go.  I study Korean at Sogang University.
RFOJMU: [eyes nearly pop out of head] Wow, you are REALLY good at Korean!

So the initial compliment (you speak Korean well) is not really a compliment at all - I would have gotten the same compliment whether I followed it up with actual Korean or not.  I guess I still have a lot to learn about the structure of formal Korean conversation (I mean, I guess I know now why Sogang teaches us about 8 different ways to deflect compliments regarding our spoken Korean - a modest reply is part of the script that will inevitably follow if you're conversing with a Korean you're meeting for the first time).  More so, however, than an indictment (or merely an observation) of Korean social customs, it is to me a rather sad indicator of how uninterested foreigners are in Korea.  I assume (maybe incorrectly?) that a good chunk of the reasoning behind any Korean's (genuine) surprise at a foreigner being able to converse comes from the fact that so few of the English teachers, who comprise a decent percentage of the foreigners in Korea, bother to learn any Korean at all before coming here or during their time here.  This actually makes no cognitive sense to me, because I have struggled so much as a foreigner in Korea who only has a tenuous grasp on the language; how the hell are these people functioning?  How do they feed themselves??  I mean, I understand that their hakwons probably take care of a lot of their bureaucratic stuff, but that doesn't change the fact that you need to know SOME Korean to get by in daily life!  Seriously, I just don't get it.

Also, not learning Korean but living here means missing out almost entirely on what it means to actually LIVE here.  I will never be Korean and thus will never really be an insider in this culture (not that I particularly want to be), but voluntarily not participating in the language or culture beyond eating and drinking (and by that, I mean alcohol) has the effect of keeping you perpetually on the outside while preventing you from gaining any meaningful inside into Korea, its people, and its traditions.  Why live here, then?  Is it really just about the money and your resume?

Dr. Richard U. Light, the man whose essential purpose in life has become mine in that I would not be in Korea doing what I am doing if not for him, believed that America's foreign policy problem was an acute failure on the part of American ambassadors and diplomats to deeply understand the language and customs of the country to which they were administering.  It was this failure that accounted for our miserable dealings in the Korean and Vietnam Wars.  Quite frankly, I don't think we've learned from our mistakes; a friend of mine is here on behalf of the U.S. State Department for the summer, and he doesn't speak a word of Korean, nor does he know anything about Korea at all.  What the fuck is he doing here?  Why is he here?  Are you telling me there was no single individual better qualified to deal with Korea-US relations than this guy?  Not to belittle him in any way - he's a brilliant scholar who I'm sure does great work.  But I just don't get it.  What can he possibly bring to the table?

Geoffrey, another Light Fellow, told me that the State Department's policies are based on the idea that American diplomats should never have too much loyalty to the country they are sent to.  Diplomatic stays are typically 2-3 years because that gives one a chance to get to know the country without getting so attached that you forget your loyalty to America.  I get that and all, but I don't understand why it's not even entertained as a possibility that diplomats can be well-trained and well-versed in a country's language and culture without running the risk of repatriation.  Sounds better to run that absurd, asinine risk than to send someone completely ignorant to craft policy that will directly affect a country and its people.

I wrote this post because I had an experience over the weekend that made me realize just how important language is to truly and completely understanding someone.  Without it, you might as well just pack it up and go home.  So here I am in an effort to stay, and to stay with as much comprehension as possible.  I wish others here would do the same.

In an effort to relieve how horrendous this post might have sounded, check this out.  There may be hope for the K-pop industry just yet!  Although one must acknowledge that the unremarkable nature of the performances is part of K-pop's charm; it's all about the spectacle and about the appearance.  Jesus, I might just have said a mouthful.  But that's another post.