돌아올 거야, 돌아올 거야*

* = I will return, I will return (do-ra-ohl-geo-yah, do-ra-ohl-geo-yah)

I woke up this morning at 6:20AM with a pressing matter on my mind.

Does the grammar pattern -다면서요 (translated to mean "I heard that you...") follow the same rules as reported speech? Does that mean that I need to put a 은/는? Well, which one? Does that only apply to verbs...?

Being jetlagged and unable to sleep, I did the only thing which felt logical at the moment, which was pulling out all of the Sogang books I had in my room and poring over them until I had an answer (indeed, it does follow the same rules as reported speech, which means that you add an 은 if the verb stem ends in a vowel and a 는 if it ends in a consonant). Success. I then proceeded to drag my ass out of my room and log onto the family computer in the basement. My dad woke up within 15 minutes and was surprised to see me out of bed already; generally, when I'm at home, I don't bother waking up until at least 1 in the afternoon. He inquired, and I responded that I was jetlagged and had to get up to study some Korean. He shook his head at me and said, "Are you losing your mind?"

On the contrary, I don't know that I've ever felt this sane.

I've been home for about 2.5 days now, and in that span of time, I've consulted my Korean language books no less than 8 times to check up on a vocab word or grammar pattern that I worry I'll forget in the coming year (which is kind of not a legit fear, seeing as when I get to Yale, I'll be starting another Korean language class). I also had a dream about ddeokbokki and a phone conversation half in Korean with my aforementioned tutor, the very lovely Jaehee Unni (who very kindly insisted over and over that I've improved so much and she can't believe it and is so very proud of me - I love you, Jaehee Unni). I can't shake myself out of Seoul; I wake up missing the sights of Sinchon, the faces of my teachers and classmates, the smells of steaming dumplings outside of the Rotary restaurant. I hate driving everywhere. I miss the subway. I want my chopsticks back. What the hell, America? You suck (kidding. Sort of).

Anyway. I promised an update with some sort of evaluation of Sogang, and I intend to deliver that. So if you think this will be boring, feel free to skip; if you're a prospective or future Light Fellow, you might want to take a cursory glance or at least skim it. Or just find me and ask me in person. Seriously, I'm so prepared to spazz about how much I love Sogang and Korea that I will gladly squeal in your ear and spare you the trouble.

So you want to study at Sogang, do you? Well, here are some things you ought to know.

Sogang is a relatively small university tucked into some hills (like basically everything else in Korea) off of exit 6 of the Sinchon Rotary. This means that it isn't as close to the vibrant neighborhoods that surround Ewha Woman's University, Yonsei University, or Honggik University; suck it up, though, because I really believe that Sogang has the best language program in the country, and you can walk an extra 10 minutes for that.

Sogang's style of teaching basically mirrors the style of Korean taught at Yale by Angela Lee-Smith; actually, it would probably be more correct to say that Yale mirrors Sogang, since Lee Sunsaengnim is a former Sogang teacher employing Sogang methods. I outlined my schedule in one of my earlier posts, but a quick rehashing:
9:00 - 10:00 --> writing
10:00 - 12:00 --> speaking
12:00 - 1:00 --> reading/listening (they alternate, one day reading, the other listening)
So every chapter has a set list of vocabulary and 2-3 new grammar patterns. You learn them pretty much the way you do at Yale; the teacher explains them, you do sentence practice (building your own sentences), and then you learn dialogues in which the grammar patterns are applied. The vocabulary comes along with the sentence practice and dialogues, and a lot of it is taught to you by your reading/listening teacher. Sogang moves at an extraordinarily fast pace - 1 lesson is alloted only 2 days of class. 5 days are broken down into 2 lessons (2 days per lesson), then you have one day of review, then it's on to the next lessons. Makes for a busy and full courseload. Oh, and an obvious difference - all of it is 100% in Korean. All of it. This includes the explanations for all the grammar and vocab. It really can't be any other way, because not everyone in class speaks fluent English. Your teachers may or may not speak English; even if they do, they're unlikely to use it unless they really, really can't seem to get a meaning through to you. My writing teacher used to translate some things for me, but her accent was so thick that I sometimes couldn't understand her unless she wrote the word down in English (in many cases, Koreans read and write English much, much better than they speak it, or at least that is my experience). Fortunately, Sogang provides all students with a grammar/vocab book that outlines the meanings of the new patterns and words in English, so if you're really stuck in class, you can always consult that (and indeed, you really should study it beforehand; it became my Bible).

A word on your classmates: I mentioned that not all of them will speak English, and it is also worth mentioning that it's highly probable that none or very few of them will be students around your age. In my class, Becky and I were the two maknaes, or youngest, at 20 years old; the next youngest was about 24/25, and the average age of the rest is probably about 30 or a few years over that. Bob mentioned it in his blog, but most of the students at Sogang are adults who are learning Korean for business purposes or because they're in a relationship with a Korean person. Sure, there are SOME students (Princeton had a sizeable number at Sogang this summer as well), but the grand majority are adults. Oh, and most are from Japan. I picked up 1 Japanese phrase in the course of the entire summer; I can now say, "I don't speak Japanese." How fitting. But don't worry that you won't enjoy yourself or make friends simply because the demographic isn't what you're used to; I had so, so much fun with my class, both inside the KLEC building and out. We even went out together a couple of times for meals. You really do get close to them, to the point where leaving becomes terribly sad.

A word on your teachers: if you've had Angela Lee-Smith, you might think that your Korean teacher wants to know everything about you or be super-involved in your personal life. Actually, your Sogang teachers really don't care. And that's kind of expected; since a year at Sogang is broken down into 4 semesters, these teachers see kids come and go every 2 months, and so they're not all that invested in you personally. This is not to say, however, that they are not invested in making sure that you learn as much Korean as possible while you are under their tutelage, because my teachers were amazing. Of course, because it's a fairly sizeable program with a lot of teachers, there are obvious differences in the classroom manner and style of each sunsaengnim, and not everyone will like every teacher. My speaking teacher, Lee HyeJun, is actually really unpopular with a lot of students for being a hardass and kind of a bitch (sorry, but it's true); but if you pay attention to her, you'll learn a LOT, and at the end of the day, that is more important. Plus, I never found her class to be unenjoyable; not in the least. In fact, I kind of miss her.

As for my other 2 sunsaengnims, you kind of have opposite ends of the spectrum - my writing teacher, Choi Sunsaengnim, was barely older than me (she graduated college in 2007, meaning we would have shared a year at university - I have FRIENDS older than her), and quite gentle and soft-spoken; she spoke Korean at a relatively leisurely pace and used a lot of gestures to get meanings across (I think that even in the last week of classes, she was still making writing motions in the air whenever she was telling us to write something - kind of adorable, I miss her). Yang Sunsaengnim, on the other hand, was in her mid-30s (I think? I'm abysmal at telling the ages of people, especially Koreans) and was extremely exuberant, always speaking extremely rapidly and punctuating each sentence with a big smile or loud laugh. I would like to repeat that she spoke REALLY, REALLY QUICKLY. It terrified me in the beginning to the point of appearing like a deaf-mute in that class, but in the end, I think it educated me the most. After all, that's how real Koreans speak, and you want to learn how to speak Korean, right? Right? Right. But I'll be the first to admit that Choi Sunsaengnim's quiet and cheerful explanations, full of gesticulation and sometimes sprinkled with English, were nice as well (especially at 9 in the morning).

Grading at Sogang is heavily dependent upon the midterm and final exams. I think the official breakdown was 40% midterms, 50% finals, 10% participation and homework. Which is to say, there is not a lot of incentive to DO the homework, since it actually counts for almost nothing, but if you don't do it, you're going to screw yourself in the end. Do. The. Homework. If you've taken Korean at Yale, it's nothing you're not used to; the workbook follows the same format, as do the questions at the end of each listening/reading lesson. Yeah, it can be a pain and somewhat tedious, but do it. And if you really want to improve, it's a good idea to study, study, study that vocab and grammar. All the time. I'm serious. After midterms, I holed up in a cafe almost every night for a few hours to do my work and study the lesson's material (if you live in a goshitel, you might find that studying in your extremely cramped and tiny room is difficult, so try a cafe - I recommend Angel-in-Us, where the yogurt smoothies are AMAZING, and Cafe Pascucci - decent vanilla macchiatos). Once I started employing this routine, class was amazingly easier to follow and much less stressful.

The exams - well, they're hard. And a lot is riding on them. Passing is a 70% at Sogang, and you have to pass everything in order to graduate to the next level. And if you fail your speaking final, you're done for totally. It's a lot of pressure, but people have survived much worse. Study, pay attention to your sunsaengnims and the amazing things they have to offer you, and there's no reason why you shouldn't pass, and indeed, no reason why you shouldn't do very well. I probably had the roughest time of it, being that I took level 3 after not finishing level 2 at Yale (see the beginning posts for that whole epic saga, as I refuse to repeat it here); but in the end, I worked really hard and made use of my teachers, who are excellent resources, and pulled it together to finish with a solid B. I was amazed and quite proud, considering that I was barely passing at the midterm mark :) When I look back at the general progression of the summer, I am genuinely and truly thankful for the the challenge, and especially grateful that my sunsaengnims didn't let me drown in my own doubts or misgivings. I have to single out Choi Sunsaengnim and thank her for all of her help - she'll probably never read this blog, but if she ever does, thank you a thousand times over. I began to believe in my own ability to get better at this language because you believed in me first.

Hmm, I really wanted this evaluation to be organized and informative, but it appears to have degenerated into a sloppy and anecdotal mess, much like all the rest of my posts. Sorry?

Criticisms? A few; some people in the past have lamented Sogang's slow-ass administration; I never had much experience with them, but there does appear to be like, only one dude in the 7th floor office who deals with the entirety of the Korean language education program, and so getting things done can take a little while. The 7th floor office was always jam-packed after classes, so I imagine it must be frustrating. I had difficulties submitting my own application via the internet, but the nice thing about Sogang is that it's not as competitive as other programs, so applying is basically the same thing as enrolling, and they're more than willing to help you out with that. Another issue was with my placement interview test; they wound up calling me around 11:00PM on a date that was entirely different than the one I had originally asked for. Needless to say, I was really caught off guard and stumbled quite a bit. Organizational issues, then. Perhaps Sogang can work on that.

I really don't have complaints about the actual language instruction at Sogang. Some people in my class were really ready to bitch about Lee HyeJun Sunsaengnim (the aforementioned speaking teacher), but I had no problems with her, really, and besides, you're not going to like everyone and everyone is not going to like you, so you can chalk that up to luck of the draw. You might get a sunsaengnim you don't love, and that happens. Luckily, you have 3; even if you don't love one, you'll probably love the others, which is more or less how I felt (although I did like Lee HyeJun; don't get the wrong idea!). Anyway, teachers aside, the method if instruction is, in my opinion, quite effective, so no complaints there. I learned a lot of Korean = win.

I don't know if this is really a complaint, but I know that lot of other language programs have language pledges that stipulate that you are not to use English at all - not even outside of class (unless you're speaking to parents or non-target language speaking friends). The summer after my freshman year, I did a language program in Spain that had me sign a language pledge AND live in a Spanish homestay - perhaps not the most comfortable I've ever been, but astoundingly helpful for my linguistic abilities. Sogang, however, does not have a language pledge OR a homestay option - of course, you must speak only in Korean during class, but that basically means that outside of your class, how much Korean you use is entirely up to you. I won't lie - I used English basically all the time, even when speaking to other Fellows. As a beginner language student, it would have been really, really hard to use Korean all the time, but had we used Korean more, we might have gotten a bit more practice; then again, because we were beginners, whether or not practice among ourselves would have helped is debatable, seeing as we wouldn't really be able to correct each other. Practically speaking, Sogang simply can't really enforce a language pledge - because the student demographic is largely adults with lives and jobs that don't revolve around the 4 hours they spend at Sogang every morning, it's unrealistic to ask them to speak Korean all the time. That being said, in light of the lack of language pledge or homestay option, you can substitute by getting language partners, which I highly, highly recommend. You can practice for hours with these people, and because they are native Korean speakers, they really help you a lot. Finding a language partner isn't even all that difficult; Sogang has a language exchange message board website where people post ads that you can respond to. Also, any Korean friends you meet can become language partners. 2 of my partners, Hyemi and Yeorin, were friends first and language partners second, which is probably the best way to do it. The fact that these people become friends also encourages you to keep in touch beyond your stay in Korea - I've already sent off a bunch of emails in Korean, and I expect to send more. Many more. Actually, I just finished one like, 10 minutes ago. It's awesome.

I suppose, then, that that's it for my spiel on Sogang - there are probably 1000 things I'm forgetting, but whatever - just read the blog archives for more information/psuedo-useful commentary/Korean pop songs (whether or not those are helpul is debatable, but you already know my opinions on that). And if you're reading this and you've got questions about the Light Fellowship/Sogang/living in Seoul, feel free to contact me - it should be easy enough to get my personal information without me posting it on this public forum, so just check Yale Facebook for an email address!

In conclusion...oh, you know what? I'll just post another conclusion, to hell with it. I'm too attached to this blog and Korea to let it go just yet.

Love,
Jangmi

잘가요, 내 사랑*

in names: me, Jiwon Unni, Hyerim Unni, Jihye Unni, 장미, 지원 언니, 혜림 언니, 지혜 언니. in a word: love, 사랑.

* = goodbye, my love (jal-ga-yo, neh sarang)

I first felt tears beginning to gather in my eyes as I hugged my reading/listening teacher, Yang Sunsaengnim, goodbye on Friday afternoon. Shortly after that, it was goodbye to Jihyang Unni and Miyoung Unni in the 7th floor office. That night, it was farewell to some of my best-loved classmates, Konomi, Kanako, Hatim, and Casey. Yesterday afternoon, Hyemi Unni; yesterday evening, Jiwon Unni, Jihye Unni, and Hyerim Unni. After Jihye Unni left the noraebang where we were screaming out the latest K-pop hits (at my insistence, of course), I began to cry for real, and by the time Hyerim Unni deposited me in a cab bound for Mapo-gu Sinchon, I was practically incosolable. I wept for about 30 minutes after we got home, too. I don't know how large a role the SoJu we merrily consumed played in my emotional reverie, but I don't think it was all that large. The truth is that I'm just going to miss everyone - everything, really - about this place more than I can put into words.

It's so weird that this is my last day, and I've decided that I'd rather not try to cram stuff in. I don't want to rush through experiences that I feel I should have had, or try to hastily see places I've not yet been to. I have some things on my to-do list (evidently, we're going to McDonald's, of all places, for lunch because I've not yet had the (in)famous bulgogi burger), and I do plan to buy another 2 pairs of jeans from Uniqlo (fabulous cuts, good prices), but I feel like I'll just play a lot of today by ear. Aside from the practicalities of getting myself prepared for another 18-hour journey tomorrow, I just want to enjoy the feeling of living here one last time.

In a very strange way, it's almost as though I want to say goodbye to people I've never met or been formally introduced to. The girl at Etude House, who has no doubt seen me pretty much EVERY DAY this summer, since she has to work outside screaming into a headset in order to try to get customers in; the lady who works at the convenience store next to my goshitel where I bought banana milk and kimbap more times than I can count; the ajummas and agashi from my favorite restaurant, who fed me over 100 dumplings and countless plates of delicious, delicious ddeokbokki (actually, the people who work at ANY of the restaurants we frequented); the girl from Angel-in-Us Coffee, who must have wondered how many yogurt smoothies I could drink before getting a headache. There are more, but you probably don't care about the descriptions. It's just...like, I want to say, "Hey! You've been kind of a fixture in my day-to-day life. I'm leaving now, so I won't see you, but thanks for...being there."

I'm such a sap.

One thing, though, that has been common in all of my goodbyes, from the email sent to Choi Sunsaengnim after final exams to the tearful words I blubbered into Hyerim Unni's shoulder last night, is a half-promise, half-hope: "내년에 봐요!"

See you next year.

Let's make it happen.

[p.s. This is not the last blog entry. I'll for sure be posting when I get back to the States. As this blog serves not only as a personal means to document my travels for family in friends, but also as a guide for future students considering studying at Sogang in Korea, I'll probably be updating with some kind of overview of Sogang's KLEC program, plus my own take on it. I also have more pictures that I intend to upload soon, since my blog was never all that picture-heavy. And some concluding thoughts and what-not. I'm sure you're really looking forward to it. Snort.
p.p.s. I'll say more about it when I update again, but suffice it to say that my studying paid off well enough, and my grades from KLEC were considerably better than just passing :) I think my speaking teacher was surprised, but not surprised enough to pop out her baby. Thankful thought.
p.p.p.s. For good measure, SBS KJE Chocolate's SNSD stage. Best performance of this song I've seen so far, which actually doesn't say a lot, but these girls have been such a part of my Korean experience this summer. A very hearty thank you to Tiffany, Jessica, Taeyeon, Yuri, Hyoyeon, Yoona, Seohyun, Sooyoung, and Sunny - you've actually been good teachers and have taught me a lot of vocabulary, plus invested me in Korean pop culture in a way that I wouldn't have thought likely or possible. 소녀시대 화이팅! I can't believe I turned into a 소원 fangirl.]

For the last time in Korea (this time around):

Jangmi out.

끝!*

* = done! (ggeut!)

A teensy post with little purpose other than to report that final exams are OVER(!) and that this makes my weary body quite happy. Perhaps I'll actually start to recover now; I had to go to the hospital again on Wednesday. Sigh. I suppose that this is fate's way of kicking me in the arse for not bothering to buy insurance before coming here; I really should have read that Blue Cross website more carefully. Another word to the wise (there seem to be quite a few of those this week, I suppose as I make/realize more mistakes): buy yourself some damn insurance. You don't know how/when it will come in handy.

As for the tests themselves, there was not a great deal unexpected about them; I think I did better on my speaking written test than I did on the midterm, but we'll have to wait and see. As for the 20 minute oral interview test, that passed rather painlessly, but of course as soon as I walked out I started cursing myself for a thousand undetected mistakes. At least I spoke somewhat fluidly, which is not a rarity for me, but a difficulty. My goal was to make my interviewer laugh and mention SNSD at least once, which I did with success. I'm just relieved that it's over, and I anticipate my results tomorrow. Also, a special thank you to Jaehee Ju (if she ever reads this), my old tutor, whom I called last night to chat with and practice (even though she's in the States!). Jaehee Unni, thank you for the help, and I miss you more than I can say :)

After exams, I went to the Hyundai Department Store to buy bribery a gift for our speaking teacher, Lee HyeJun, who is having a baby next month. Our class all pitched in, and somehow I volunteered myself for the duty of the actual purchasing. Surprisingly (or maybe not?), I was able to successfully walk away with a cute pajama-looking outfit after talking with 2 different salespeople. And I don't mean like, just stammering out "okays" or "yeses," I actually like, talked to them. It's kind of an amazing feeling, and it gives me incredible motivation to do everything that I can to make this kind of thing happen again. Namely next year. What?

Tomorrow is Sogang's graduation ceremony, which we'll all be attending, and then I think we get to do some hardcore hanging out/last-day bonding with our friends and teachers before we all leave to our respective countries. I'm glad I'll be in better health for it (although it certainly wouldn't have killed me to be in better health for my exams, GAH). I think I've learned a really important lesson about the meaning of relationships here, which I expect to share at some point with my like, 3 readers (thanks, HAYEON LEE, who informed me that none of my friends read my blog - but how could you miss so many of my sparkling insights?!), but for now, I'll leave you hanging, as I've got to eat dinner + buy my writing teacher 10 bottles of nail polish. I'll explain later.

그래도 널 사랑해*

* = but still I love you (geur-eh-do nul sarang-hae).

Sorry, that's really lame and doesn't make any sense, but it happens to be what I'm listening to at this particular moment, and it didn't feel right to start a post without Korean lyrics.

As though it weren't bad enough to have a stomach flu that merits a trip to the hospital, my body has decided to completely crap out on me by catching a cold with less than 48 hours to go before my final exams. I started feeling a touch sniffly yesterday while studying in a cafe, so I booked it out of there instantly and started sucking down ColdEeze (thankfully I brought a decent supply of that with me, as I trust that stuff more than I trust St. Anthony to find all of my lost possessions). I woke up this morning feeling ache-y and stuffy, a terrific combination to ensure that I am totally unable to study, but I've felt a BIT better since then and am hoping that if I rest up this afternoon, I'll at least be able to get some work done tonight. My table at Cafe Pascucci must be feeling lonely; after all, I promised it that my ass would warm that seat until Thursday's speaking interview is history. Alas. I also had to cancel a language partner meeting with Yeorin Unni, which pissed me off beyond measure because I was really hoping to practice with her and have her read over my latest 쓰기 essays. Stupid cold.

I suppose, then, that my last week in Korea will be a bit on the low-key side; I mean, I expected that simply because of final exams, but hopefully I'll be better in time to enjoy my last full weekend here. I'd really like to go out with my class on Thurs/Fri and to spend some time with Jihye Unni & her friends from SPO before I leave. Oh, and of course with Bob & Sneha, since they're planning on being here for a year and won't return to Yale before I graduate...ㅠ.ㅠ...

In any case, I decided to take this opportunity of being unable to focus on anything for longer than 24 seconds to post a few pictures that I've shamelessly pilfered from my (Asian) classmates who are assuredly more camera-happy than I and much more faithful in their efforts to document basically everything in their lives. Thanks to the beauty of Facebook (and my incredible skills of persuasion, in that I managed to convince a bunch of 30-year-old Japanese girls to jump on the Facebook bandwagon, much to my total glee), there are many more pictures available to the viewing public (or the Facebook-having public, at any rate). But here are some that will at least put some faces to names! I love these people :)

말하기 선생님, 이혜전 선생님 (= speaking teacher, Lee HyeJun Sunsaengim). Taken during one of our last speaking classes :( Here we are learning/doing dialogue practice!

읽이/듣기 선생님, 양승희 선생님 (= reading/listening teacher, Yang SeungHee Sunsaengnim). LOVE THIS WOMAN. Perhaps one of the funniest people I've met since I got to Korea. By far my most enthusiastic teacher.

Sadly, I STILL have no pics of Choi HyunJi Sunsaengnim, my writing teacher, nor any of my writing class. Nobody seems to want to take any pictures during writing class, probably because it starts at 9AM and nobody is ever fully awake...I'm sure I'll manage to take some during our last class/graduation...

A good chunk of my speaking class! There is not a single person in this photo that I won't miss dearly.
Top Row (L-R): Akabame, Becky, Casey, Ada, Kanako
Middle Row (L-R): Yuki, Konomi, Seona
Bottom Row (L-R): Hatim, me, Yukiko
Please note that I am drinking banana milk, the greatest thing in Korea (slight exaggeration, since I'm pretty sure that would be Jihye Chung), and that basically everyone has thrown up the peace sign.

most of my speaking class at a Chinese restaurant! I unfortunately ate nothing this meal for fear of upsetting my stomach, but I had such a good time with these folks.
L-R: Yukiko, Yuki, me, Ada, Jere, Casey, Kanako, Seona, Konomi, Akabame, Miho

This has nothing to do with anything, but I just thought it was hilarious. All of our names are posted up in the back of our speaking classroom, and this is me pointing to my name (장미, Jangmi, Rose).

Many thanks to Yukiko & Kanako for the pictures, should they ever stumble upon this blog :)

니가 나타난뒤이 모든게 달라졌어*

* = after you appeared, everything changed (nee-ga na-ta-nan-dui-i mo-deun-geh dal-la-jyuss-uh)

prologue: today's dialogue practice, talking about the things that we will remember from our Korean class (imagine that this whole conversation took place in Korean, and you can tell because the translation is mad awkward).

Me: Hmmm...I will remember our listening/reading teacher, Yang Sunsaengnim, who always talked so quickly!
Yuki: Of course! I think she's a great example of like, the real, typical Korean woman.
Me: I know, right? When we started out, I could only understand about 20% of what she said when she spoke. Listening class made me so nervous, I hated it!
Yuki: I remember that. You always had such a worried expression on your face, and you kept mouthing to Becky throughout the class, "What is she saying? What does that mean??"
Me: You noticed that? Oh my God.
Yuki: You were like that for weeks.
Me: But I like this class so much better now that I can understand what she's saying. I think I understand about 90-95% of what goes on now! I'm really going to miss it!
Yuki: Me too!

How things have changed.

I went to a coffee shop today intent on doing homework/studying for about 4 hours; I made it through about 1.5 hours (and two assignments) before a Korean-American girl approached me and asked me if I wouldn't mind taking a picture of her and her Korean cousins. I obliged, and jokingly remarked that they should help me with my Korean homework in return for the favor. She replied that her cousin would be great at that, since he was like, actually Korean and not a visiting foreigner (like myself). I laughed, bid them farewell, and returned to my table. I made it through another 3 or 4 songs on my Korean Pop playlist (shut up) before the cousins got up and made to leave. The real Korean dude, though, stopped at my table and was like, "Hey! My cousins are leaving, do you want help with your homework?"

Who was I to refuse?

He helped me with a particularly difficult to grasp grammar pattern that I had been having trouble with all night, but of course conversation eventually strayed from homework, because it's boring and stupid and nobody cares (just kidding). We chatted in a mix of English and Korean before I showed him my final exam prep work and he was like, "Okay, let's talk about this stuff, then! You can practice." Much to my surprise, I was able to hold my own in a conversation, using (correctly!!) the new grammar patterns we've learned. I was kind of surprised. Maybe I am not as bad at speaking as I thought. This does not, however, change the fact that I will be spending this entire weekend under lock and key studying. Oh, except for the meal that I promised Jaehyun, my new coffeeshop language-practicing friend :)

It's currently about 1:00AM and because I spent the past like, 4 hours talking with Jaehyun, I didn't finish my writing homework and will have to stay up late to get it done. But I don't regret it, nor do I feel like I missed out big time on the studying front. Granted, I've got plenty of time before I have to face any of my tests (first one's writing, next Tuesday, and I've already been spending monstrous amounts of time and money reviewing vocab like a madwoman in various coffeeshops in Sinchon), and I DID practice a considerable amount of speaking with him; but regardless, I came to Korea for experiences like these. I'm happy to have them, even at the expense of an hour or two of sleep.

Some (lengthy) postscripts:

• A word to the wise if you plan on living in a goshitel for the summer: keep in mind that a lot of them do not go halfsies on rent. In other words, even though you are leaving on the 16th, Jangmi, you still have to pay the full rent for August. When I questioned this, my goshitel oppa looked at me like I was crazy and replied in English, "This goshitel. This not hotel." Gee, really? Because the lack of room service didn't totally tip me off to that within the first like, 8 minutes of being here. I am peeved that I had to pay ~$150 for a room I am not going to live in, but as I'm still decently within the bounds of my Light Fellowship budget, I am not going to throw a screaming fit about it. Especially since I asked around and it seems like this might be fairly standard/expected of goshitels. Who knew?
• I'm still sick; Sneha caught whatever it is I have and we decided today to go to Yonsei Severance Hospital, which is very close & has an International Clinic (where they speak ENGRISH). Plus, I was at my wit's end with trying to figure out what it is, exactly, that's causing me to get so sick, because I can eat certain things just fine (bulgogi, ice cream, yogurt, dumplings) and other things not so much (eggs, pizza, bibimbap, kimbap). The odd thing about the things I can't eat is that they have like, nothing in common. So it was time to call in the big guns. Essentially, I paid about $50 to be told that I have a stomach flu, which I already knew, but I finally got what appears to be a legitimate prescription from a real doctor who, by all appearances, is well-versed in Western medicine. Not to dis Korea's...ah...traditional medicine, but it's kind of ineffective and gross. Yesterday, Jihyang Unni took me to a pharmacy and got me traditional digestive medicine, which consisted of a packet of no less than 30 very tiny ball-shaped pills and a full bottle of some disgusting nebulous liquid. Evidently, you are supposed to swallow all 30 of these tiny balls at once while washing it down with whatever that drink was. When she relayed these instructions to me, Jihyang Unni realized pretty quickly that I was not a fan, so she basically ripped the package open and force-fed me the medicine. I spit it out as soon as she wasn't looking. I do not think I was any better or worse off for it. I showed my writing teacher the remaining pill packets this morning, and she was like, "Ah. That stuff tastes like crap." I wish that was a direct quote. Anyway, my new prescription looks much more like what I'm accustomed to and I understood everything the pharmacist said to me, so WIN. Yet another word to the wise, however: if you come to Korea, it might be a good idea to bring a mini-pharmacy with you. Korean pharmacies are great for getting things that you need, but you don't really have a choice in what you get, especially if you aren't great at vocalizing it or have no idea what sort of medicine you might actually need. The procedure is like this: walk into pharmacy, tell pharmacist symptoms, he/she gives you medicine, you pay and leave. It's not like RiteAid where you can freely browse the shelves to pick something you best like. And there's no Pepto Bismol here. I'd recommend bringing a supply, lest you want to choke down 30 pellets of death followed by a vile brew. Sorry, that embellishment wasn't really necessary.
• On the subject of Jihyang Unni, we went out with her and a bunch of the cool people from my trip to Gyeongju for pizza last night (Jangmi's stomach would like everyone to know that this was a bad call), and NORAEBANG (karaoke!). I keep expanding my repertoire of Korean pop songs, and it makes me infinitely happy. I had a great time, and I'm really going to miss Jihyang Unni. I hope I see her again...next year...?
• I'm sorry that I have no pop songs to post today; here, watch this instead. I nearly died laughing (make sure you read both the subtitles and the text on top of the screen). I guess even Koreans have trouble with Korean. How comforting, especially because I tried to watch the TV show that this is from, SNSD's "Hello Baby" (essentially, some irresponsible set of parents decided to give their 1-year-old son to SNSD to take care of for what appears to be like, a day and a half and they've somehow stretched this into 15 episodes) and I had an incredibly difficult time understanding it. At first, I was upset - I mean, how difficult could it be, these are a bunch of 19-20 year old girls talking in what I'm sure is common speech (반말), and I doubt they're using complicated sentence structure or super advanced vocabularly; but I think there is a big difference between understanding your Level 3 sunsaengnims (teachers), which I can do fairly well at this point, and understanding 그냥 한국어(everyday Korean). I still have a long way to go. But thank you for making me feel better, Kim Taeyeon, and embarrassingly mixing up the words for "nipple" and "pacifier" on network Korean television.
  
• My time here is rapidly dwindling (~10 days), and I'm starting to gather my thoughts on the summer as a whole, including Sogang and my experience there; I promise I'll post some stuff when exams aren't breathing down my neck, even if I have to wait until I'm back in America to do so ㅠ.ㅠ
• Just kidding, you can watch this video of 4 Minute, another abysmally wonderful girl group, singing an annoying song that I of course am currently trying to (illegally) download. The song title is "Hot Issue." AWESOME. What does that even mean?? Oh, and for good measure, I just downloaded this gem right here. SNSD's Jessica + SHINee's Onew = ballad goodness (the song title: "One Year Later"). I am going to start looking for the duet that Tiffany did with K.Will as soon as my homework is done...

Jangmi out.

아프다고 말하면...*

* = If I say that I'm in pain...(ah-peu-dago-mal-ha-myeon)

So something that is decidedly not fun about being in a foreign country: getting sick.

I suppose my body picked a fortunate time to go haywire on me, as I'm on my aforementioned week-long vacation; however, this time was supposed to be spent doing productive studying, not sleeping off whatever stomach bug I seem to have acquired. The odd thing is that I feel 100% normal; no headache, bodyache, fever, etc; I just can't seem to digest anything properly. I've spent a good portion of the past 5 days in severe pain as a result of stomach cramps. This is my one and only symptom. I saw a doctor yesterday, who seemed kind of baffled; this may have been because of communication difficulties (I went with one of my language partners, but her English is not very good, so we had some trouble getting meanings across). I was given a prescription and told to take 15 pills a day (WHY ARE THEY ALL NECESSARY I HATE SWALLOWING PILLS). They don't appear to have helped, though, and I'm thus forced to conclude that my unhealthy diet may be catching up to me. Fruit is really expensive in South Korea, so I never eat it (except on 받빙수, an ice cream dessert that comes mixed with fruit), nor do I get nearly enough fiber. I guess I'll just be taking it easy for the next couple of days and trying not to eat anything too stimulating. Jihye unni, Jihyang unni, and Philip Gant all told me to eat 죽, which seems to be the Korean equivalent of congee (rice porridge, for those unfamiliar), so I suppose that is what's on the dinner menu for tonight.

Funnily enough, if I do have to be sick in South Korea, Sogang seems to have best equipped me for stomach trouble, as chapter 3B's vocabulary is all about stomach ailments and hospital-related terms. No kidding - I can say things like, "I have indigestion," (속이 쓰려요) "I feel like I'm going to throw up," (토할 것 같아), and "Please give me digestive medicine (소화제를 좀 주세요). Thank you, Sogang University + Choi/Lee/Yang Sunsaengnim. If any further trips to the doctor or pharmacy are needed, at least I sort of know what to say.

I expect to update again soon, when I'm feeling better (which will hopefully be soon, because I think I will get sick of eating saltines rather quickly). Home in 2.5 weeks. Sad face.

알 수 없는 미래와 벽 바꾸지 않아 포기할 수 없어*

* = with obstacles and an unknown future ahead, I won't change and I can't give up (al-su-oebs-neun mi-rae-wa-byuk, bakk-eul-ji-anh-ah, pok-ki-hal-su-oeps-uh)

A long and fitting title. Thank you, old-school SM Town lyricists.

It is with a heavy heart that I report that I have ~3 weeks left. We're not talking about that.

Instead, let's talk about how the K-pop concert that Sogang got us free tickets for was actually not a concert at all, but the 1000th episode taping of Arirang TV's "Showbiz Extra," which is I guess equivalent to "Entertainment Tonight" or something. Another thing that Sogang got wrong was the set list; we were promised SNSD, SHINee, and FT Island, among others. What we actually wound up seeing was a bunch of rookie/little known pop acts - U Kiss, Sori, Untouchable, and 8eight. Out of these acts, the only one worth watching was probably 8eight, who might be among the most talented singers I've heard since coming here. For the (very, very) few interested, here is a link to one of the songs they performed. I actually really like it; it's a nice change from synthesizer-charged noise, although I am still loyally devoted to my crackpop. Unfortunately, the other acts of the show were pretty bad (Sori, the supposed "Angelina Jolie" of Korea, actually lip-synced one of the songs, which was bad enough to begin with). Honestly, though, going to a concert was on my Korean to-do list, so there you go. Plus, by virtue of my large eyes, pale skin, and not-black hair, I was selected by Arirang TV to participate in an interview, and you can read the transcript of it here! You can watch it on Arirang's episode archives, but you have to create an account at arirang.co.kr in order to view it (which I did, of course). I was also interviewed last week by KBS - they're putting together a segment on alcohol-related laws in the States and needed some American kid to explain it on camera. That either aired today or it's going to air next week; I actually have no idea. But yay for appearing on Korean television! That's about 1000 times more legit than that cooking show I had on YTV...

U-Kiss. Like Super Junior, only much worse. Behold the glory and horror that is the Korean boy band.8eight performing. They were pretty good, but I was more upset/disappointed that SNSD wasn't there than I care to admit. When am I going to meet Fany-Fany Tiffany??

8eight being interviewed by the bobble-headed host of the event - she looked a bit like Melissa Rivers, too. Charming.

Anyway.

Last week, Sneha and I enjoyed a unique experience by going to a dog cafe in Hongdae called "Bau House" (I think they meant to spell that "Bow" as in "bow wow wow" but what can you do, Korea!fail). So basically, this cafe is like a glorified pet store that sells cappucinos, in which no less than 20 old/fat/kind of funny looking dogs just kind of run around the place, relieving themselves wherever they please, begging various customers for food or attention. Honestly, the whole thing was kind of hilarious - you'll be sitting there, and without warning a dog just jumps onto your lap/chair/table. Most of them don't care at all about the people in the cafe unless they feed them dog biscuits (which you basically have to buy if you want the dogs to pay you any attention), but there was this one funny-looking mutt with a snaggle tooth that seemed particulary attached to us. It tried to follow us out, much to Sneha's consternation (I essentially had to drag her out of there after spending about 2.5 hours playing with/feeding dogs). All in all, it was a lot of fun, but if you go there, don't even bother bringing your school books - you'll get nothing done.

Is this not the most ridiculous thing you have ever seen? They literally just wander around the cafe.Sneha: "You CAN buy love! It's only 3000 won!" (~2.50 cents, the price of a bag of dog biscuits)

I made a friend!
Another friend! This one wasn't after food, but just wanted a little lovin'. Cute! In the corner, you can see my overpriced orange juice; but a small price to pay for an afternoon of PUPPIES. I miss my dog :(

But of course, I am getting stuff done - since my midterms, I've become even more attentive to my classes/assignments here. Much to my delight, this is hardly a chore - I love my classes, and I mean that sincerely. All of my teachers have grown on me, and I'm quite fond of all of them. Now that I understand 95% of what my listening teacher, Yang Sunsaengnim, is saying, I've found that she's actually hilarious, really kind-hearted, and generally awesome. I remember being absolutely terrified of her for most of June. I'm really glad for the change, but it's bittersweet because I'm going to miss my teachers and classmates so much when I have to leave. My writing teacher, Choi Sunsaengnim, wants to keep in touch and do language exchange via Skype/Gchat when I'm in America - I'm all for it. She's someone I definitely want to stay in contact with. But then again, the same could be said for pretty much everyone I've met here. I finally made a "Korea" group on my Gmail contacts list to save the phone numbers of everyone (in case I need them next year!), and I feel incredibly lucky and fortunate. I feel like I have built something here. I've made friends I will sorely miss, made a home in a place that feels right, and discovered that I have a passion for this language and this country that I didn't think possible. It's a startling and wonderful realization; I remember that when I first got to Yale and heard about the Light Fellowship, I shrugged it off because I was so sure it would never apply to me - taking an East Asian language, let alone Korean, was probably the last thing I planned on. I almost can't believe that I am planning the rest of my academic career and perhaps the first few years of my professional life around this country. Honestly, I wouldn't change a thing.

In other less-sentimental news, I went out again with Jihye and her boyfriend Wayne to celebrate Wayne's birthday. I had a great time, as I always do with those two. Plus, I got to meet more of their Korean friends, all musicians from the Seoul Philharmonic, and practice my Korean. One of the girls there was terribly sweet and asked me if I would be her language partner - I happily added her name to my growing list and met with her on Friday. Currently, I now have 5 language partners, and I don't really mind juggling them around my pretty much non-existent extracurricular schedule. I love all of them; my Sogang partner is a bit awkward, but the other 4 (who I basically found on my own) are truly delightful and I get much more out of our conversations than just Korean language practice. My only worry right now is that 3 of their names start with "Hy" (Hyemi, Hyojung, Hyunji), and I'm honestly astonished that I haven't accidentally called one of them by the wrong name yet (on that note, WHY do all Korean girl names start with either H, J, or have BOTH letters somewhere in there? My Korean contacts list is like, completely centered around those 2 letters. And all the names sound the same! It's like how two of my Yale Korean tutors were Jihye and Jaehee - the name "Jihye" is pronounced Jee-Hae, so it is exactly the opposite of Jae-Hee. I've confused the two before. Why so similar? Be imaginative, Korea!).

I'm currently on my week-long vacation now, and I was planning to go to the beach, but I've now decided to stay in Seoul to study for my final exams. This is a sacrificial investment in the future - hopefully, the extra studying will help me in being able to come back for a year, and then I can go to Korean beaches whenever. I do, however, plan on going to a water park at some point this week! Oh, and I also plan on sleeping. Because the thing about 9AM classes every day is that something always winds up lacking, and it's usually sleep...

Jangmi out.

네 마음 속에 있는 작은 꿈을 말해 봐*

* = tell me that little dream within your heart (ne mao-eum sog-eh iss-neun jakeun ggeum-eul mal-hae-bwa)

Quoting "Genie" again, are we, Jangmi? Perhaps you ought to give it a rest; the public is tired of hearing about this crap. Why don't you just go back to waiting for Michelle Branch to release her new CD like you did when that digital single was released in February? You remember, the one that you purposefully created an account on her fansite to get. Yeah, that one. What do you mean, you haven't heard that song in like, 2 months? It was all you talked about for a couple of weeks, you know. And now we've heard no end of this K-pop drivel. Really, it's getting old. You're probably losing readership, you know that? The Light Fellowship committee is going to purge your iTunes library when you get back. You're giving them a bad name - Korea is more than terrible pop music and you really ought to - what?

What's that, Jangmi? You're going WHERE?

YOU'RE GOING TO SEE SNSD (Girls' Generation) IN CONCERT? TOMORROW? Don't they sing like, all of the songs you posted a few weeks back??

Okay, that is like, the coolest thing ever.

Also, it's free.

Update soon + pictures :)

p.s. I promise, I have more to say about things not related to music, but this just came up! I'll be posting a lot more stuff about...um, other stuff next week, when I'm on my week-long vacation!

냉면 냉면 냉면!*

* = cold noodles, cold noodles, cold noodles! (naengmyeon naengmyeon naengmyeon!)

I'm sorry that isn't a more provacative/educational title. More of the soundtrack to my life summer, this is a new song that just came out as part of kind of a joke concert in which some unlikely pairs of singers & comedians battled it out for...no good reason, I guess. For the (very, very few) people who are curious, that's SNSD's Jessica and comedian Park Myeong Soo. I haven't found a really great translation yet (and no, I can't do it myself), but it's something about love being cold like naengmyeon, which is a Korean dish made of cold buckwheat noodles, served either in icy broth or with hot red pepper paste. Dana, please do your homework and stop listening to KPOP CUTE! I love.

(Should I be sorry to admit that I downloaded this the minute I found it? Along with this ballad from a drama, sung by SNSD's Tiffany? Or 2 ringtones for "Genie," to be added to my phone within 24 hours of me getting back to the States? You're right, I shouldn't admit to any of it. Forget I said that.)

So. Week...6 is it, now? Crap.

So some of you might remember that I spent 5 days touristing through the very green hinterlands of South Korea, if South Korea even has hinterlands. Anyway, the trip was intended for students studying at Sogang's International Summer College, but the invitation was extended to Yalies to go at a discounted rate. Surprisingly (or maybe unsurprisingly, I don't know), only three of us out of about a dozen decided to go. I was conflicted at first, because going would mean missing a full week of classes, but I decided to go after Hayeon told me that I should never throw away the opportunity to see the rest of Korea when a) the trip was so well organized and it would be almost impossible to replicate that on my own and b) it was relatively inexpensive. So away I went, on a bus packed with American students, for five days venturing in and out of temples, tombs, museums, and special "cultural activities."

Our schedule for the trip was pretty hectic (we changed sleeping accomodations every night), but we managed to cover a huge chunk of the country. Granted, South Korea is about the size of New Jersey, so this really isn't a feat. Our first stops were in or around Seoul, but by the second day we were a few hours south in the city of Jeonju (famous for its cuisine, and more importantly its BIBIMBAP, a fabulous mixed rice dish that we got to make!). The next day, we went all the way to very tip of the peninsula, and the fourth/fifth days were spent in Gyeongju, which is an ancient capital city of Korea. Gyeongju was especially nice, because it is incredibly spacious and lush, which is something you don't see very often in Seoul or the two next largest cities (Jeonju and Busan). The reason for this is because there is so much history buried within the soil of Gyeongju that they can't develop the land. It's an incredibly small city that seems to consist entirely of hotels/hostels and the people that work in them. But it is also home to some splendid temples and tombs, many of which I was lucky enough to see.

In the end, I'm glad that I went on the trip, but I was really happy to get back to Seoul. The worst part of the whole thing was, surprisingly, the people. The trip basically reminded me of when I was in high school and we took that ill-fated 3 day trip to Washington, D.C. in my junior year. There was a lot of immaturity, unfortunately, which is something I've come not to expect from university students. This is certainly not to say that everyone was like that - I did meet some very, very redeeming people, some of whom I intend to keep in touch with for the duration of my stay in Korea. Plus, we went out for some EPIC karaoke - I literally sang absolutely every Korean song I know, including some that I didn't. It was awesome.

All that being said, however, it is worth commenting that If you go sight-seeing in Korea, don't expect to see Europe. I found Europe totally awe-inspiring and magnificent when I was there last summer, but I definitely was not nearly as moved by what I saw in Korea, even in its most storied national treasures. However, that doesn't mean that I couldn't see something to appreciate, and there is something to be said for the love and affection that I feel for this city, this country, and these people that I never felt for any place in Europe. I might have lusted after Paris, but it was just infatuation, I swear. Okay, that was an awkward analogy and you can forget I said it. Point being: Korea, all of your temples may look like they were painted by the same damn artist with the same 5 colors, but I love you still.

There are too many to post, but some select pictures ought to fill in the gaps in the words (NB = no caption means I can't remember at this present moment where the hell I took the picture, and will dig through my trip schedule and try to figure it out later):

prep work for 비빔밥 (bibimbap, literally "mixed rice") - a delicious meal made of sliced sauteed vegetables served mixed into rice with a spicy red pepper paste sauce.

those aren't hills, they're actually tombs - the above appears as two hills, which means that both a king and queen are buried there (the queen's is larger!). Picture taken at Tumuli Park in Gyeongju.

last stop - a pagoda in Gyeongju

one of those redeeming people, Yeorin Unni - she's a grad student who works at the KLEC office on the 7th floor and was on the trip as staff. LOVE HER. I'm seeing her tomorrow :)

yet another fabulous unni, Jihyang Unni - I know I complained about the culture of age here, but being a 동생 (dongsaeng, or little sibling) is AWESOME. Everyone is so good to you!

on the last day, we went to the East Sea - in the background is the tomb of a general who wished to be buried at sea. In the foreground, the three intrepid Yalies (me, Bob, and Hisashi) who braved the trip.

Trip aside, it should please the masses that I (appear to have) passed all of my midterms! Turns out I'm just barely passing speaking (expected) but my teacher thinks that I can pass the level if I continue to work hard. She actually wrote down on top of a piece of paper "100%," pointed to it, and said, "Jangmi, when we are in class, how much out of this number do you actually understand?" I answered as truthfully as I could without making myself sound like an idiot (70%, which is probably accurate. Some days maybe 80%). In reality, we all know that I absolutely should not be in level 3, but she hasn't kicked me out so there you go. I feel badly that I am probably not going to do well in my classes, but what can I say? The insanely competitive kid in me really wanted to rise to the challenge of level 3 and refused to accept that I may have bit off more than I can chew when I cracked open the listening CD. Lucky for me, if I pass the level (and I'll be damn happy and proud to have done so, if I do), I'll have a full year to conquer Level 3/4 at Yale (I think? Where I'm going to be placed is ambiguous as of right now) and then I can worry about what comes next when I come to it.

That being said, I suppose it is time for me to declare what has become increasingly obvious since I've been here: there is simply no way that being here for one summer and completing level 3 at Sogang (god-willing) is going to magically confer upon my insolent tongue fluency in the Korean language. The same can be said for finishing level 4 at Yale. What then?

I come back.

For a year (at least).

I don't know why. But I must be fluent in this language. I have to be. Somebody commented to me once that when you force people to speak in an unfamiliar tongue with you, then you don't hear who they truly are; similarly, if you can't UNDERSTAND what they're saying, then you won't know either. As my list of friends and go-to people in this country grows longer and longer, I realize that I want to HEAR them for who they are instead of who they are when they are stumbling over broken English in an attempt to communicate with me. It's an obvious fact that languages separate people, and its unrealistic to learn every language out there for the sake of communicating with EVERYONE, but we should do what we can when we can. This is my small part.

Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. A second Light Fellowship is by no means a guaranteed opportunity, and competition definitely goes up for seniors applying for year-long grants. But I can see myself here. I was walking around in Seoul after dinner tonight and realized for the first time that I thought of Yale not with eager anticipation, but with kind of a sinking feeling in my stomach. I used to worry all the time what would happen after I graduate next year - how could I build another life after that university, after being surrounded by my best friends, by professors, by opportunities? But since being here, I realized I can do it. I am doing it. And I don't want to leave. How can I leave when I've just gotten started? How can I leave when I haven't met SNSD yet??? Kidding (kind of).

July 14. My program ends a month from today, which at least means that I still have a full month here.

I miss this place and I haven't even left yet.

Sigh. I will enjoy it while I can. As the rainy season pounds the roof of this goshitel (it's a noise I've gotten used to, as it rains like I've never seen here), I find myself with yet another craving for banana milk and another rush of warm gratitude towards my new BB cream, a revolutionary Korean concealer that has done wonders for my skin. Awesome.

I'm going to the convenience store.

Jangmi out.

소원을 말해봐* (aka the problem with K-pop)

* = tell me your wish (so-weon-eul mal-hae-bwa)

Part 2.

(pre-script: I spent an entirely useless Saturday in my room, save for the 2 occasions on which I left to get life-sustaining food. I also realized what an unhealthy dependence I have on the internet, seeing as the internet in my goshitel was down for about 2-3 hours and I spent most of those 2-3 hours sitting around waiting for it to come back on. But seeing as today was the first day I've relaxed in a while, and will be the last one in which I can for at least a week - I am going to on a 5-day-long Korean cultural trip starting Monday morning - I don't feel much guilt in still wearing my glasses and PJs.)

So the title for this post is an unlikely one, and it sounds creepy, but you can probably guess what I'm planning to talk about. And that is:

2) Korean Pop and its ridiculous place in Korean youth culture
FANGIRLING! Okay, none of that.
I hate pop music in the States. Of course I liked it when I was younger, because everyone did and isn't that what you're supposed to do in middle school? I was, as I recall, obsessed with *NSYNC, particularly that one guy that turned out to be gay. But I can't stand pop anymore, at least not for listening pleasure (it's fine for dances, parties, etc.). When I'm driving, I plug my iPod into the adapter my brother thankfully bought for the car we share and listen to what my friends classify as the Worst Playlist Ever (copious amounts of Vanessa Carlton and Michelle Branch, plus assorted other artists). Very, very few (if any) of the American artists I listen to do not write or play their own music. That they have a part in the production, the writing of raw, meaningful lyrics and expressive trills on their instrument of choice, has always been really important to me. Maybe it's because I'm a (psuedo)musician, having played the piano since I was 7 and dabbled in some pretty terrible amateur music/lyrics composition; I don't know. But since I was about 14, I left pop music to its rightful place at the annual Crushes and Chaperones dance. Ironically, that's probably my favorite dance all year at Yale. Anyway.

Now, why might I like pop music in Korea? Why do I get ridiculously excited when a song that I know blasts from the speakers in front of Nature Republic (yet another makeup store)? Why does everyone I know want to smack me, because inevitably I start singing along and (if I've seen the music video enough times) mimicking the dance steps?

Okay, I give up, too. I don't know.

I actually think that originally, it had something to do with a combination of comraderie and a challenge. K-pop was actually one of the things that brought me and Hayeon close as we shared a hallway in sophomore year. The thousands of times we listened to Super Junior's "Don't Don," screaming out the rap in the middle, are memories that I will probably always remember (to this day, "Don't Don" is still the most-played song in my iTunes library, despite the fact that I've not heard it in quite awhile). So whether she wants it or not, Hayeon naturally has a part in my love for this terrible music.

The second part, as I mentioned, was the challenge. Anyone who knows me knows that I have kind of an absurd (and selective) memory. I can rattle off lyrics to a song I've heard less than 5 times if I think it's good, but I can't remember the spelling of the word for "to progress" in Korean. The first time that I heard Korean pop was a full year before I decided to start taking Korean, but even then, it was a puzzle. For some reason, I really wanted to remember the words, sing them, and pronounce them sort of correctly. I don't know why. But I did, and I learned every last word to "Don't Don." To my credit, I know more of the song than Hayeon ever did, and if we ever sing Korean pop together, usually I am the one supplying the lyrics. Sorry, Hay Hay :)

I guess a third part - one that I'd rather not admit - is that these songs are incredibly catchy and I truly just like listening to them. Plus, due to the fact that most of the lyrics remain outside of the realm of my understanding, I remain oblivious to how trite and stupid they probably are and therefore can't shred their songs the way I have shredded Avril Lavigne's or The Veronicas'. I have seen translations for some of the songs, and it's true that the songs are totally ridiculous and simplistic. But they're SO CATCHY that I am willing to overlook it. How do they do that?

These days, everyone and their mother makes fun of me for being addicted to K-pop, but I have to say that I have learned a lot from listening to these songs, and nearly everyone compliments my pronunciation, so those wasted hours must have paid off in some way. Besides, it is certainly not the first time that I have liked something that is practically universally acknowledged to be terrible (anyone remember Big Brother? But enough said about that).

Anyway. Aside from those sparkling personal insights, I'd like to try to offer an explanation of K-pop music culture here in Korea, because if you come here, you can't really avoid it.

Some background information: K-pop is basically a hugely profitable business in Korea. I think something like two major music labels govern 90% of the music produced, one of which I know is called SM Town. A company like SM Town exists to make money, and it makes money by handpicking artists and building groups specifically designed to appeal to the Korean young public. I can't think of any Korean artists on the pop scene right now who were not scouted by the label as kids/young teenagers, put into training, and later placed into a group or developed as a solo act. You follow? Two examples are SNSD and Super Junior. All of their members were trainees under the SM Town label prior the debut of these two groups. At some point or another, SM Town decided to create a male pop group and picked 13 male trainees to fill it; at another point in time, they decided to create a female pop group and selected 9 female trainees to fill it. Another two years in group training follow, and voila: a group is born, and sickly sweet pop songs are written by outside artists, sold to SM Town, and turned into megahits when performed on stage to ridiculous choreography by idealized and idolized young men and women.

Now, this formula has not failed to produce SM Town a lot of green, I'm sure. But a lot of money does not a good musician make. Some obvious problems with the system:

• A lot of the "artists" scouted by SM Town are essentially talentless people with exceptional features. One of my biggest problems with Korean pop is that the artists are so TERRIBLE. In each group (depending on the size) the number of singers with any marginal ability is always totally dwarfed by those who can't seem to even stay on pitch. Harmonizing is virtually non-existent or left to the few with any sort of singing capability, as is ad-libbing. Whenever a new pop song comes out, the first thing I do is look for a live performance of it, to find out just how much it had to be doctored in the studio before it even made for an acceptably-recorded track. Funnily enough, it's usually the most attractive members of the group that can't carry a tune in a bucket. If you're curious, here's an example (SNSD's live performance of "Him Nae") - watch from 0:21-0:26 to see Yoona, the one considered to be the prettiest in the group, "sing." The first time I heard it, I think I visibly cringed. If you watch the whole performance, it becomes evident that about 3 of the 9 are talented singers, and the rest are just eye candy/backup dancers/jail bait. What's really hilarious is that the 3 talented ones get less camera-time than any of the others. The newest live performance of their latest song "Genie" (oh, BTW - the title of this post is the Korean title of this song, did I mention that?) has the camera focused on Yoona during the end, where the lead vocalist is doin' her thang and ad-libbing. INJUSTICE. All I can think is that a good two-thirds of this group wouldn't have even made it past round one of American Idol. In fact, Simon Cowell would have rightly laughed in their faces and told them to go try modeling or something. Oh, and did I mention that a number of their live performances are totally lip-synced? I mean, even in the ones in which they DO sing, the backing track usually contains at least the song's refrain so that they don't have to sing and can just focus on those fabulous dance steps.
• Almost all of the songs are similar-sounding and devoid of any real meaning. I touched upon this before, but seriously. The songs fit into neat genres: pop-rock, bubble-gum pop, oversweetened ballads and lame attempts at R&B that wind up sugared over by high-pitched vocals and poppy music videos. None of them have any soul, and few of the singers sing with any sort of emotion or feeling. In Korea, pop stars are praised for how long their "catchy" tune manages to stay atop the charts, and it seems that nobody questions the quality of the actual performance. It's all about appeal. If your song is being listened to by thousands of screaming fangirls and played in department stores, makeup shops, and restaurants, then you win! It doesn't matter how much it sucks, or how little it means, or how similar it sounds to the last song you produced. It doesn't matter that it was totally manufactured to sell money and not written as a piece of artistic expression that tells a story deep from within the musician's soul (a la Vanessa Carlton's "White Houses," or any of her songs, really). It doesn't matter that it's being sung by 19-year-olds who've barely graduated high school and who sound worse live than you and your drunk friends at a noraebang at 3:00 AM. The point is, these people are famous, the songs are famous, SM Town makes mad bank and everyone is happy.

And yet, despite these glaringly obvious shortcomings, young people all over this country have fallen for K-pop and buy into it both mentally and materially, expending hard-earned money on downloading or purchasing albums chock full of mind-numbing simpleton music set to studio-synthesized instrumentation and accompanied by studio-synthesized vocals. The worst part? Even music-loving Americans like me wind up sucked in. Since being here, I've pestered Hayeon on three or four separate occasions to send me the latest hits, seeing as I don't know where to download them on the internet. I then upload them to my iPod and play them while I'm walking to school, working out (rarity), doing homework, or sitting on the subway. I learn the lyrics, hum the tunes, and dance with the Japanese girls in my class before our teacher walks in. I can identify by face and voice nearly every member in SNSD and Super Junior. I recognize almost every pop song played at clubs or on the street. It's crazy; it's sad.

The problem with K-pop, therefore, is that it's so bad, it's good. And it's so good that nobody cares that it's bad.

But here's the thing: if you come to Korea, you can decide to vehemently hate K-pop, to refuse to listen to it, to roll your eyes when you hear it played or to hit your friends when they start to sing it (ahem). But if you do that, you're going to miss out on a huge, huge chunk of Korean pop culture that, despite its total terribleness, is actually a lot of fun. Korean youth puts so much energy into being dedicated fans of these pop stars (actually, in Korea, there exists a phenomenon known as the "anti-fan," a completely ridiculous concept in which you devote all of your energy to HATING pop stars and create websites and blogs basically designed to shit all over everything they do, which seems like a big fat waste of time, but no one asked me) that you kind of have to hand it to them. The system they created is by no means a musical masterpiece, but people are happy with it and it's easy enough to get into without a great deal of mental exertion. So take a look and a listen, then become a screaming fangirl who spends hours Youtubing clips and making hundreds of LiveJournal icons showcasing how cute and pretty these people are. Not that that's me, of course.

(some post-scripts:
1. I realize that I've talked an inordinate amount about SNSD, but it's actually not my fault that they happen to so perfectly illustrate adherence to Korea's ridiculous standard of beauty as well as the total ineptitude of some of Korea's most famous female popstars.
2. Is anyone clicking the hyperlinks on this blog? Do you know how long it takes me to FIND these things? Is anyone watching these videos? Do any of you care? Hello? Hello?
3. Seriously, is anyone out there?)

If you read that all that, congratulations. I'm so "Sorry, Sorry" for making you suffer through that. HAHAHA.

Jangmi out.

나도 잘할 수 있는데*

* = I can do better (nado jal-hal-su-iss-neun-dey)

I have so many things that I want to address, it's not even funny.

Firstly, I will offer that midterms were this week, and while I certainly don't think I knocked any of them out of the park (technically, there were 3: writing, speaking, listening/reading), I am really proud of myself for taking the tests reasonably well. This may be a premature celebration, as I'm nowhere close to done - we still have the actual speaking portion of our speaking midterm next week, plus I haven't received my actual grades yet and thus don't know for sure that I've passed - but today in class, I realized how much I was understanding, and it was kind of awesome. I even think my speaking might be getting better. Who knew?

I don't really feel like giving my usual spiel on the happenings of the week; instead, I'd like to devote a little time to some pseudo-cultural observations that I've made on some (very) select topics since coming to Korea. Feel free to skip this entire entry if you're not interested; I won't be offended, since this blog is as much for me to create a record as it is for you all to follow me as I'm so far from home.

1) South Korean women, standards of beauty, and plastic surgery
So a grammar pattern that we learned deals with acknowledging the truth of a previously spoken statement while offering a counter-argument (- 긴 하다); essentially, the English equivalent is, "That's true, but..." In our writing class, we were instructed to write a kind of mini-essay comparing the pros and cons of a said topic, making correct use of this grammar pattern. Our teacher offered us 3 topics; being a bit of an outspoken American, I opted to write on the final topic offered, which was the pros and cons of plastic surgery.

Because I am hardly at an intermediate level of Korean, my essay was rather pathetic and weak-sounding. Because it's short, I'll post a translation:

In Korea, a lot of women get plastic surgery. These days, a lot of men are getting it done as well. If one thinks themselves unattractive, then by plastic surgery one can make oneself beautiful. Also, many famous people have done it, and if one wants to be famous in Korea, plastic surgery can seem like a good thing. Among the members of So-Nyuh-Shi-Dae (Girls' Generation, a very popular Korean singing group, made up of 9 considerably done-up young women - I've posted a couple of their songs on here before), many have had surgery done and appear beautiful and thin. But if you want to be a beautiful person, your pesonality should be more important than your outward appearance. Many people thing that they cannot be beautiful unless they get plastic surgery, but just because this is so does not make this thinking correct.

There are, of course, good points to plastic surgery. If you don't like your appearance, then you can change it. For example, if you don't like your eyes, you can get new ones. Even if you are not beautiful, you can become beautiful. But in Korea, if you do not get plastic surgery done, it seems as though you cannot be considered beautiful. After plastic surgery, you might be beautiful, but the fact that you need to undergo surgery to get there is very sad.

Additionally, after plastic surgery, many Korean women do not even look Korean. This, too, is very sad; Korean faces are beautiful, but everone wants to look white. Not to mention, surgery in and of itself is dangerous, and unnecessary surgery should be avoided.

Even though a lot of people do it and you can be beautiful once you've done it, I dislike plastic surgery. Everyone wants to be outwardly beautiful, but a beautiful heart is more important than a pretty face. Besides, if you have a beautiful heart, why do you need surgery on your face?

Now, because I am not that competent in Korean, I could not say what I might actually have said. Which is:
I actually don't have much of a problem with plastic surgery. Yeah, people do it; but I've tended to view it, as my good friend Hayeon says, as a lie on your face/body. It seems to imply a lack of pride in yourself, or a belief that without picture-perfect features, the rest of you doesn't matter or can't make up for physical shortcomings. Okay, people are vain; I totally get that. Yes, there are myriad self-confidence issues that go along with being wholly unsatisfied with one's appearance. So even if it's technically "lying," I understand why people get surgery, and might even consider it myself, were I just a little less proud.

Now, why might I have a problem with plastic surgery in Korea? The answer lies in the fact that Korean women (young women especially) seem to be dissatisfied with their appearance because they look Korean instead of white. Seriously, the most popular plastic surgery that I see is the double eyelid job, done in an attempt to make the eyes larger and more "white"-looking. Google it if you don't think you know what I'm talking about. Nose bridges are also really popular, as is shaving your chin to produce a heart-shaped face. That is unfathomably gross. But people get it. They line up by the thousands for it here. And if you stand on a street corner in Sinchon and casually observe everyone who walks by, no doubt 30-50% of the girls you see will have visibly altered their appearance. It's sad; it's as if being Korean is something to be ashamed of, ashamed to the point where you are driven to make yourself look like something else. And everyone is doing it.

Don't believe me? Drastic transformations have taken place. The entertainment world is RIFE with it. Here's my favorite: meet Tiffany. She's an extremely talented singer from the aforementioned SNSD, and that is a picture of her before she debuted with the group in 2007. This is Tiffany now. When I saw these pictures, I was in total disbelief; I could not fathom that that was the same girl. In the words of Tiffany Woo (no relation to SNSD Tiffany), "I am convinced that they are two separate people and that the before-Tiffany was exorcised/sent to Mars and the after-Tiffany is just a robot who wanted to cash in."

I feel bad writing such distasteful things about Tiffany, because the whole world of Korean pop fans have already lambasted her for getting so much work done and I don't want to add my name to the list of haters. To focus on her appearance overlooks her tremendous talent and the hardships she had to overcome to get to where she is now. Unfortunately, it appears that one of those "hardships" was the fact that her face wasn't perfect enough (according to some ridiculous, totally unrealistic and idealized standard of beauty) to sell to the young Korean public, and so she went under the knife. And I'm not even picking on Tiffany - many of the rest of her bandmates have undergone similar procedures with similarly astonishing results. It makes me a little nauseous.

What's more nauseating is the fact that this phenomenon is not limited to celebrities. I am 100% sure that my speaking teacher has had work done (at least double eyelid); my listening teacher, about 80% sure; my writing teacher, I can't tell, but I hope she hasn't - I submitted that essay to her, and I would be terribly sad to have hurt her feelings. After she graded it, she asked me about my opinions on it - I responded as truthfully as I could without being unkind. And then Yukiko pointed out that she has a double eyelid. FML. While it's true that some Koreans have it naturally, the vast majority of double eyelids are surgically created. I can't tell with my writing teacher; truthfully, she's gorgeous, and I would expect her to be gorgeous with or without surgery. But maybe that's just because I see what I want to see: a great personality behind a big smile (she's my kindest teacher, and the one that I like the most). So maybe my vision's clouded. I don't know.

Standards of beauty here are for sure absurd. I've never felt this ugly in America. Korean women are under an insane amount of pressure to be stick-thin and constantly ready for a photo-shoot. I have gone out in sweats to buy food from the convenience store before, and I swear I have never seen another Korean women in anything less than a perfectly matched ensemble, perfectly put-together hair, and heels (okay, slight exaggeration, but you get the point, right?). The 9000 makeup stores on my street are a testament to the obsession with beauty, an obsession which I am slowly getting sucked into (more of my money than I would care to admit has gone into Korean beauty products, which are cheaper than most American things, but that doesn't say much).

I want to march up to the ridiculously dressed girl screaming into a megaphone in front of Etude, a makeup store near my goshitel about Etude's latest products and sales, snatch the megaphone from her perfectly manicured nails, and shout to all Korean women that they are beautiful in their own right. I don't think anyone would hear me, though. And I don't know that they'd listen.

What a downer.

This post is long enough. I'll start another one later, hopefully on a less maudlin and controversial topic.

화이팅.