말해봐*

* = tell me.

HEY GUYS, someone just posted a thought-provoking comment (on my ridiculous "I hate you SK" post, which is a few entries back) and I answered!  This is just to let people know that this is okay and, in fact, encouraged.  I like talking about things!  Almost as much as I like talking about myself, which, let's face it, is probably reason number one why this blog exists (my fellowship requirements being a close second).

Oh, and if you want to ask a question or post a comment, I'd appreciate it if you at least left a name.  One of my favorite blogs, Ask a Korean!, labels all people who don't offer names in their queries "anonymous coward."  I'm not gonna go that far, but I'll be the first to admit that I am a little high-strung and anonymous comments make me nervous and kick my already-overactive imagination into high gear.  Go figure.

I hope everyone had a blessed and wonderful Christmas (I know I did!  And I'll post pictures of the kind of wacky cake-making party that took place after Christmas service at my church at a time that isn't 3 in the morning)!  Peace in the Middle East, fools (and on the Korean peninsula, too).

크리스마스*

* = "Christmas"; pronounced Keu-ree-seu-ma-seu.  Yes.

Merry Christmas from me, Taeyeon, and Tiffany!  Taeyeon's video is a particularly hilarious abuse of English pronunciation; I think the best was "Jack Frost," but I'll leave that up to you.

Today was a whopping 14 degrees Fahrenheit in the good ol' ROK, and it felt every bit of it.  I took a walk up to Ewha Womans University (about 15-20 minutes from my apartment), and my ears hurt for about 2 hours after I got back.  This is not entirely my fault; I have been trying to buy a winter hat for at least the past two and a half weeks, but my head is literally just too small.  My friend Jungran Unni tried to solve this problem by sticking a pair of earmuffs on my head, only to have them slide down to my neck because they, too, did not fit properly.  I guess proportionally, I am just not right for this country; small head, huge eyes, larger-than-A-cup chest, butt.  At least I can always find a size 6 shoe...

This is my first winter in Korea, and even though it is mighty cold, I already like it better than summer - but then again, I'd like pretty much anything better than the Korean summer (except maybe the Southeast Asian summer, although I've never been, so I can't say with 100% certainty).  The air is dry, the sky trends from very clear blue to gray-looks-like-snow, and the streets abound with piping hot fast food stands to fill your belly.  All of Korea's natural splendor (snort) is also dead; I was actually surprised to see all the dead grass at Ewha, and then I realized that it's been a while since I've encountered grass of any kind.  City life.

I have been keeping my apartment at a (perhaps unreasonably) toasty 24 degrees Celsius (75.5 in Fahrenheit), abusing my freedom from my father's oppressive 65 degree limit with reckless abandon.  Turns out that my heating bill is separate from my monthly utilities fee.  Wish someone had told me that sooner; but   I like the heat too much to sacrifice my comfort for a few extra bucks (I tried lowering it yesterday and put it right back up to where it was within 2 hours).  Also, I've discovered that having 온돌 (ondol, or heat that comes through my floor instead of through vents) has encouraged the unhealthy habit of flinging clothes that I wear often around the house (socks, pajamas, sweatpants/shirts) onto the floor so that they'll be warm when I put them on again.

My plans for Christmas involve church, cake decorating (I got a message from a church friend telling me to bring cake toppings with me tomorrow - she suggested canned fruit, which implied, as she later confessed, that she has never baked a cake before in her life), and dinner with friends afterward.  This year is a weird one - no tree, no cookies, no seafood on Christmas Eve (actually, no nothing on Christmas Eve, because the most I did today was eat 라볶이 twice), no family, and people that I have only known for a couple of weeks.  But there have been smatterings of loveliness and no doubt there will be more.  I'm looking forward to celebrating with my friends at Somang, and to giving JM's family their gifts - I got her dad a tie!  It felt like the fulfillment of something all children should do for their father(figure), but because my father wears ties like twice a year, it was never a proper gift.  I also got her mom a pair of earrings, which involved enduring the stares of no less than 11 jewelry vendors at 신세계 department store, an agonizing decision between obsydian and white stones, and two female vendors holding both pairs up to a picture of JM's mom on my digital camera to see which pair would match better with her hair, skin tone, and clothing color palate.  I feel like this would only happen in Korea.  And then they asked me if I was from France.

Best part of today: I waited in the frigid cold for about 15 minutes for the 호떡 stand (hoddeok, Korean street pancakes filled with cinnamon sugar and chopped nuts - a fabulous winter snack)  to get set up and going, but had to give up because my nose felt like it was gonna fall off.  I stumbled into my apartment building feeling slightly dejected, only to be greeted by my landlady's husband, who presented me with half a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, promising more food later.  LOVE.

I am on school break now, so if you're in Seoul and bored, holla at yo girl; I have literally nothing to do for the next 10 days.

An Open Letter to South Korea

 pre-script: I had another topic for a blog post in mind, but today's events have led me to postpone talking about how Korean winter hats don't fit my head and instead talk about the very precarious situation on the peninsula.  It is so precarious that I have decided that this is no time to even think about posting a kitschy K-pop video and using its mind-numbingly stupid lyrics in a titular fashion.  Also, I'm sorry in advance if this sounds garbled or generalizes horribly; it is literally just a stream of consciousness, that is how frustrated I am.

Dear South Korea:

For a long time, I've been a pretty big fan of yours.  I have been a general enthusiast of your food, your popular culture, your history, your modern politics, and (most obviously) your language; I even moved to your capital city and decided to devote the rest of my life to studying you.  But I believe that even your biggest supporters and best friends owe you their honesty; why, what kind of best friend would JM be if she didn't tell me when she thought I was screwing up, or wearing a hideous outfit?  And that's why I've decided to take off the gloves and tell you how I really feel about what you did today.

A military drill on Yeonpyeong-do, South Korea?  Really?  A live-fire exercise that you know North Korea was not going to respond kindly to?  They only said it about a billion times using their most inflammatory rhetoric, claiming that they were going to deal unpredictable and devastating deadly blows if you went through with it.  And even though BBC is reporting now that North Korea will not strike back (OMG DID YOU GUYS REALLY PRAY LIKE I ASKED YOU TO?  Because I just heaved an enormous sigh of relief, for reals), I would like to tell you that your actions today indicated to me a degree of irresponsibility that is troubling and disappointing.  It was a display of irresponsibility to your people, your military, and your global position as an emerging "superpower."  I can't believe I am going to agree with Russia and China, of all nations, but they were right when they urged restraint and diplomacy.  And you know, I fucking hate China.

Look, I get it.  You're in a really tight spot.  You had a horrifically weak military response to the initial shelling of Yeonpyeong-do, and all of your citizens made fun of how puny and sad your defense seemed, so you beefed crap up, got a new defense minister, and, in what appears to be an attempt to save face and flex your military muscle, planned all of these big scary military exercises.  You don't want to be seen as giving in to an aggressor, or sending North Korea a signal that this kind of behavior is acceptable (which it obviously is not).  That's fine, except that the people you are trying to scare do not like these exercises, and moreover, believe that the exercises you held today were taking place in North Korean waters.  Therefore, it matters not that you did not aim your missiles at North Korea; no matter where they landed, they still think it was in "territory" controlled by North Korea!  And they believe, however wrongly, that this is an attack on their territory (because, as mentioned, THEY THINK IT IS THEIR TERRITORY) and that they should have a right to respond to what they view (again, however wrongly), as military provocation.  Which, South Korea, is basically the same thing YOU said in defense of your right to hold the military exercises in the first place.

The United States says these are standard military exercises and has supported your right to defend yourself, despite the North's outrage and consistent threats of bloody retaliation.  I hate to say this, SK, but amid all of this, it almost looks as though Russia and China care more about your own citizenry than you and your number 1 ally do (even though we are all well aware that they are only invested in keeping the peace because they don't want to get dragged into a war, not because they are big fans of SNSD or anything and want to make sure that they survive a North Korean military barrage to put on another show).  But seriously - how far were you willing to go to prove a point?  Would you be willing to risk another shelling of the now-mostly-abandoned Yeonpyeong-do?  Maybe a few bombs on another similarly-unpopulated island?  A few missiles aimed at your financial district in Seoul?  How far, really?  Because no matter how far YOU are willing to go, there is really no telling how far North Korea will go, and that, South Korea, should give you more pause than anything.  Screw looking like an incapable baby; what, do you really think that nobody knows how powerful your military is?  Do you really think that nobody realizes that your military plus America's military would take out all of North Korea in a New York minute if war were to erupt?  Is it that necessary to demonstrate it within 7 miles of North Korea's coastline, especially when you really have no foolproof method to predict exactly how North Korea will respond?

I am not a Korean citizen.  I do not share in the emotions of this people.  2 of my soldiers were not killed on Yeonpyeong-do; 2 of my fellow citizens were not killed.  But 4 of my fellow human beings were killed, and I am saying to you right now, South Korea, that if you want to play with human life like that, putting it at risk all for the sake of showing how big and scary your guns are, then you are no better than North Korea.  I am not a politician, nor a military strategist, nor a Korean, nor a professor; I do not know the right answer to the North Korean problem.  But mark my words, I know a wrong one when I see it.  This was a wrong one.  You and your people (or some of them) might have believed in earnest that a military exercise was the strongest way to respond to North Korea, but I think it was a weak one.  The strong response is one that respects human life on both sides of the 38th parallel, the one that strives for peace and not war, the one that seeks to deal with this crisis (for it most certainly is one) in a manner that does not threaten the very foundations of global security.  You might think that restraint is a sign of weakness, South Korea, but let me say this: restraint does not send a message that you are bowing down to the whim and fancy of Kim Jong Il and Co, but that you bow down to a higher authority and standard, one that places a premium on life and liberty over pride and egotism.  The right thing and the hard thing are often one and the same.  Swallow your pride, and don't ever, ever do something like this again.

Regards,
Dana

p.s. God bless Bill Richardson.

주님은 주시며 주님은 찾으시네*

* = You give and You take (주 이름 찬양 - church-goers will recognize this as a [quite good] translation of the praise song "Blessed be The Name."  I know, I know - just bear with me here.

There was an air raid in Seoul today.  It wasn't a catastrophic one - it was planned and orchestrated and unless you happened to be outside or on public transport while it was going on, the average person's life wasn't really affected (I was home the entire time, bothered by nothing except the sirens that blared for about 20 minutes).  I saw some coverage of it on the news while eating dinner at one of my local eateries of choice, and most of the kids in the restaurant who were watching started laughing as footage was shown of people bundled up in winter coats and scarves being given faces masks, being herded into underground bomb shelters, and made to take cover as though bombs were falling from the sky.

Two things:
1) Why are you laughing, Koreans?
2) I never thought I'd ever see an air raid, largely because I was born just before the collapse of the Soviet Union, and anyway, I think America realized that having students hide under the desks with their arms above their heads probably wasn't going to be very effective if NYC were to be nuked.  But thumbs up to living in the only relic of what is supposed to be the dead Cold War.  I am trying to remember if I ever thought that something like this - witnessing an air raid - was even a possibility before I moved here.  I don't think it was, although I did move around the time of the sinking of the Cheonhan - so I was semi-prepared to face a little more than trivial uncertainty when it came to Pyeongyang.

To comment ever so briefly (snort) on the first, it used to be absolutely astonishing (to me, anyway) that Koreans are so unaffected by this mess with North Korea.  아버님,  JM's dad, told me that he was certain there wouldn't be a war, and her mom didn't really remark much on it except asking me if I knew what to do in an emergency (NB for American readers: go to the sports dome in Jamsil to be evacuated up outta this joint), and offering that she told JM, her eldest daughter, to "take care of her sister" if anything were to happen.  But other than that, daily life continues here like no other.  Among my friends, I would say I am the biggest news-monger, the one who googles NK news 3-4 times an hour and is consistently bringing up North Korea - it's like I want someone to tell me to get the hell out of here because the powder keg is gonna blow at any moment.

A lot of people have asked me how I feel, if I am worried.  I wrote this in answer to a friend who emailed me this question back in May, when the international investigation found North Korea responsible for torpedoing the Cheonhan:

"But let me ask you one thing - are the people you're talking to Koreans?  Because if they're not (even if they are living in Korea), they will talk about any perceived threat from North Korea from the perspective of a foreigner, without the understanding of what it is like to live under this threat.  And to be honest, nobody except for Koreans is qualified to talk about what it is like to live - permanently - 30 miles from the DMZ.  In my experience, it's a lot like talking to Israelis; Americans can talk big talk about how horrible it is to live over there, what with the threat of terrorism (especially during the second Intifada in the early 2000s), but my friends from Israel were never, ever as concerned as outsiders were.  You can't be, or life just slows to a halt.  Similarly, none of the Koreans I've spoken to have expressed more than average concern about Kim Jong Il.  Keep in mind that they've lived there for years and years, and he's been firing off these sorts of threats periodically throughout their lifetimes.  I just don't think we, as foreigners, could possibly comment knowledgeably on how we SHOULD be feeling about the current situation when this is reality for millions of Koreans.

War on the Korean peninsula is always a possibility, and the political situation right now is admittedly very bad.  I'm not thrilled with it by any means, but I've been following it as closely as possible and there are so many dimensions to what is going on right now that it's not even funny.  Potential power transition in the North coupled with already strained relations since Lee took office, plus the everpresent nuclear thing, plus I don't know what else - it's insane.  I agree with many who claim that China is the pivotal card here.  They're reluctant to condemn the North, but I don't think China would outright support them if they were to wage war, and a war would be honestly suicidal for the Kim regime in Pyongyang.  A dictator is not really concerned with anything more than the survival of his regime, and the regime would collapse if the North opted for war - and you can be sure as shit that Kim Jong Il knows that.

I don't think anything's gonna be decided immediately, and it's my hope (or imagination) that this is gonna wind up being a lot of diplomatic smoke with little tangible result on either side (I mean, South Korea's hands are really tied - they can't do ANYTHING, especially not retaliate militarily, and North Korea already gets aid from basically no one, so what the hell are sanctions gonna do?).  God forbid anything else happen, at least you are an American citizen.  Get the address of the embassy, learn it, and figure out how to get there in the event of any danger (I think it's around City Hall - don't quote me on that, though)."

Obviously, I think recent events have rendered my last few points kind of impotent; there is no question that the South must respond militarily if the North attacks its civilians again.  To clarify, I am NOT AFRAID of the North attacking Seoul; such an act would mean a global war without question (the number of shells that North Korea fired at the sparsely populated Yeonpyeong-do killed four; fired into a normally congested area of Seoul, they could kill thousands), and it would most likely spell the end of Pyeongyang as a city.  My real concerns are (1) a chain reaction, and (2) China.  Let's suppose that NK shells another island in disputed waters.  A few civilians are killed.  The South must now retaliate militarily; but how do they do this?  And if they retaliate, what does Pyeongyang do?  Is this enough to catapult this peninsula back into total war?  The South must tread extremely carefully; it is absolutely impossible to forget that (read this carefully) a nuclear-armed North Korea is not a threat to South Korea because North Korea could, with a snap of KJI's fingers, destroy a good half of Seoul using little more than conventional weaponry and ballistic missiles, which are aimed at this capital city 24/7.  Admittedly, destroying Seoul would definitely be the last thing that KJI ever did, because America would just destroy Pyeongyang and probably the rest of North Korea right back.  But....god, everything is just one long "but" after the other.  The scariest thing about this situation (as WikiLeaks revealed) is that 80% of what goes on at the government level in dealing with these questions is basic guesswork.

And China.  Well, I don't need to go into great detail here, but if war - real war - does break out between North and South, and China were to side with the North, then you've got World War III right there with the two global and regional hegemons duking it out.  Expect the involvement of basically the entire planet.  Samuel Huntington, anyone?

Which brings me to the title of this post.  I have heard some absolutely insane theories about this conflict (the North is the scourge of God - God's punishment because South Korean churches are corrupt, etc etc - one day I'll post about this country's obsession with mega-churches and whacked-out brands of Christianity), but it certainly wouldn't hurt if my readers - and everyone who is out there - prayed to whatever or whoever they believe in ( for the record, I'm Catholic at heart, so if you are not drinking the Jesus-juice, I don't think you guys are going to Hell) for rationality, sensibility, and peace to prevail in this situation.  And if not peace, at the very least for there to not be an escalation that leaves two countries and one people completely devastated.

Amen.

훗훗훗!

* = Hoot Hoot Hoot!

Hello, blogosphere!  It's been awhile.

Another apology for once again disappearing for forever the better part of the fall (is it really December?  Time has been moving faster than usual lately).  This time, my absence was not due to some vague, separation-induced depression, but actually had a far more relieving cause: I simply got too busy to blog.

Wait, what?  Dana, you say, wasn't it not so long ago that you were whining and bitching about being lonely and having no money and nothing to do?  Well, yes, it was; but suddenly that all changed with four shocking new developments: 1) all of a sudden, a bunch of people wanted me to teach them English and now I have 4 clients (sort of) and am south of the Han River on most weekdays tutoring, 2) I made friends and like spending time with them, 3) Level 5 ate my life, and 4) I decided to apply to graduate school for admission next September.

The first really needs no elaborating, except that I am in love with all of my tutorees (all of whom are friends of Jung Min Unni's parents).  They are SO NICE to me, it's absurd; for one, they are definitely overpaying me, and for two, they feed me ridiculous amounts of food.  I mentioned this to a certain unni of mine once, and her reply was, "Oh, well...they're Catholic, so they really believe in giving charity to the poor."  THANKS.  But seriously, such good jobs, such good people, and such an unparalleled and beautiful opportunity to get to know more people in this country.

The second will get elaboration in the form of photos (and walls of text; I would be remiss if I didn't sing everyone's praises individually and then make you sit through it).

은아 언니!  Euna is one of JM's friends from college and also happens to be super cute.  She is doing a master's program at Ewha, so we used to run into each other randomly around the university (I am guilty of shopping there entirely too often).  We are pictured here in an Italian restaurant in motherfucking Itaewon, where we drank a full bottle of champagne and ate pizza with walnuts, gorgonzola cheese, and honey on it (seriously, Korea?).

My friends from 소망 교회 (Somang (Hope) Church, located in Apgujeong-dong).  Even I still can't believe I joined a church, but I have to admit that everyone there is basically lovely and I really enjoy going.  I attend worship service for college students every Saturday.  The worship and service are entirely in Korean, so I maybe understand about 60% of what's going on, but hey, at least it's listening practice?  But because they put the words to the songs on a big projector, I can follow along - it's just like karaoke!  This picture is from my 22nd birthday (Oct 16, so you can all send me your belated congratulatory wishes) - they got me an ice cream cake!

SEOUL PHILHARMONIC UNNIES.  I wish that this picture wasn't blurry.  Oh my God, I love these girls.  This is also from my birthday (Jiwon Unni, pictured second up from the right, also had a birthday in October, so we had a little joint party).  What a wonderful bunch of women.  I feel so lucky to know these people.

I have definitely said in this blog (I think?) that I believe we meet everyone we do for a reason, and Habin, my language partner, is absolutely no exception.  The fact that we were able to meet at all is almost miraculous, because she just happened to post on the Ewha message board the day that I decided to look there to find a language partner; the fact that we actually really like and get along with each other is definitely miraculous.  I am so grateful to her for being someone I know I can always count on in Korea, and I really look forward to spending the next 6 months rollin' with this girl (p.s. she's graduating soon!  OH MAH GAD!).

The most amazing, wonderful people in Korea - JM Unni's parents :) They have always treated me like a daughter, and for that I am grateful beyond words.  I actually don't even know what to say here, that is how much I love these people.  I...I just really love them.  My relationship with them has made my time in Korea so much more meaningful.

That was so sweet.  I might have shed a tear.

Anyway, the third also needs very little elaboration and can probably be summed up with the phrase, "Level 5 is a bitch."  And it really is.  I have never, ever worked so hard at Sogang.  The level was made worse by the fact that my teacher was kind of a bitch herself (and not that great at teaching) and the lack of any resting time (we only had 3 days off in the entire semester).  By the time finals rolled around, I was half-dead.  But the upshot is that though the level was incredibly challenging and very demanding, I learned a TON and definitely improved in all critical areas.  My speaking final grade was the highest of any of my other speaking finals, which was surprising and really encouraging.  I think I'm finally getting the hang of this, you guys!

And the fourth: yes.  I am applying to grad school.  My apps (all two of them) are due in two weeks-ish, and because Amurrican grad schools require the GRE, a solid portion of my fall semester was spent studying for that (not that it really did me any good to prepare, stupid standardized tests).  My top choice (and I will probably regret putting this on so public a forum) is Harvard, where I hope to pursue a master's degree under the Regional Studies - East Asia program; my backup is the University of Washington, which actually has a Korea Studies master's program within the Jackson School of International Studies.

I know, I know.  Originally, I wasn't planning to apply to grad school so soon; I entertained a thousand other options, like staying in Korea to work for 1-2 years after I finish the Light Fellowship, going to graduate school at a Korean university, joining the Korean circus and eloping with the ringmaster (okay, obviously I made the last one up).  But a couple of things made me change my mind:
- Despite my repeated insistence while working at SML that graduate students were the most miserable creatures on earth, I realized that I miss classroom learning and am comfortable in the academic calendar.
- Recent tensions on the Korean peninsula, dating all the way back to the March sinking of the Cheonhan, have further inspired me to want to do something meaningful and worthwhile with my linguistic abilities.
- I realized that I am not a do-er and therefore would probably make a miserable diplomat or ambassador (crying in front of world leaders would be horribly embarrassing), but I have a great passion for learning about Korea and talking about Korea, and it would make me exceedingly happy to devote my life to educating American students about the importance of Korea so that some of those students may go out and...er, do things.  Essentially, I realized that I want to become a professor of Korean studies, to do research and work that contributes to the American understanding of Korea as an extremely geopolitically and strategically important peninsula in terms of global security.  I want to be part of a growing movement in academia to establish and grow Korean studies programs at prominent American universities; my dream is to be part of establishing one at Yale.  How do I do this?  I go to grad school.  And since all of this will undoubtedly require a doctorate and years and years of study, I want to get to it while I'm still young.  The RSEA program at Harvard is a necessary first step to that doctorate because the dearth of coursework on Korea available at Yale has left me with an embarrassingly paltry arsenal of knowledge about Korea's political, social, and cultural history.  Being passionate will only get me so far; I need to seriously substantiate it.
- Some will remember that I took a trip to America in November (which was lovely, by the way), and on the runway as the plane was about to take off at Incheon Airport, I realized that I can never, ever, ever leave Korea for good without the prospect of coming back.  I love this country.  I love these people.  I love this language.  And I want to ensure that my future is full of (funded) chances to come back and learn, live, and work here.  I am fairly confident that getting into a grad program, particularly the one at Harvard, will not only allow, but will require to me to come back here at least once every year, for research or internship purposes, and that prospect makes me exceedingly happy...except for the fact that I hate the Korean summer.  Oh well.  I could learn to live with it.

So that's that, and my fall was spent doing research, studying for that damned GRE, working on a personal statement, and doing pretty much everything I can to make this happen.  I won't know til March if I've gotten in, but I think I've certainly put my best foot forward.  Wish me luck!

I really want to get back to posting regularly, because I have things to say that people should read.  I want to talk about how I went to a Korean eye doctor to treat an eye infection and wound up having to get hard contact lenses (true life: the doctor had trouble finding lenses that fit me because my eyes are "larger than the average Korean's."  Really, Korea?).  I want to talk about my day-to-day observations, which are getting more interesting as I'm getting better at Korea and have been here for longer.  And I want to talk about the developing tensions between the Koreas (I'm fine, guys.  No war yet.  But seriously, fuck you, China.  I hate you).

And so I'll make every effort to come back and post - I promise!  Consider it an early New Year's resolution.

p.s. If you're back in Korea on winter break, holla at me!  JM arrives in a week, SO MUCH HAPPINESS :)
p.p.s. my new banner pays tribute to four of my very best Korean friends in the world - 재원 언니, 정민 언니, 신 동생, 재인 언니.  Though we are all in separate places, I love you girls and miss you every single day.

깨물었다*

 * = the real translation here is "bit," but in my head it's totally translating to "chomped."

I've been temporarily eaten by midterms, various part-time jobs, and grad school applications.  Apologies for the slowing of my updates!  I will, in all likelihood, be back within a week, although this next month is arguably going to be the most packed and difficult of my time in Korea thusfar.  화이팅!

열번 찍어서 안 넘어가는 나무가 없다*

* = A tree hit 10 times will always fall (Korean proverb).

Things I like about South Korea this week:
1) Manicures for approximately $10 / nail salons full of curious Koreans who tell me that my unnaturally large eyes/nose make me highly eligible here and then ask me what Yale is.
2) The Seoul Philharmonic and the many perks that having a bunch of unnies with jobs and big hearts brings (half kidding, I'd love you guys even if you had no jobs - but maybe a little less ^_~).
3) Language partners who are actually really, really nice, normal (stress on the word "normal") people who (for some reason) really seem to like me.  Habin = my new besgirlfrien.
4) Curry dalkgalbi (커리 닭갈비). I would have this for dinner 8 days a week were there 8 days in a week.
5) The aforementioned curry dalkgalbi (+ cheese fried rice) is what I'd call an "expensive" dinner at approximately $7.
6) Generous landladies/parents of friends.
7) 추석, the Korean harvest holiday that gave me (my only) vacation this semester.
8) The changing fall weather, which has (with the exception of the worst rainstorm that Seoul has seen in decades last Tuesday) been beautiful and crisp.
9) Cheap clothez!
10) Variety shows translated and posted on the interwebs for my Saturday night amusement.

Things I dislike about South Korea this week:
1) No American-style pizza.
2) No American-style pizza.
3) No American-style pizza.  Seriously, the Turks came with their authentic doner kebab, but not a single Italian thought to immigrate here and open a pizza joint?
4) Itaewon (이태원), the foreigner's district.  The principal problem is that it is full of foreigners.  I never, ever get catcalled on the streets of Seoul except in this god-forsaken place.  Redeeming quality is supposedly the abundance of foreign food, but it is overpriced and really inauthentic half of the time.  Cinnamon in my mousaka.  Really, Santorini's GREEK restaurant?
5) Too.  Much.  Rain.
6) No express subway lines, i.e. yes, Dana, you will be getting up at 8 tomorrow (or earlier) so you can make your 10:00 appointment in Gangnam.
7) Suffocatingly small living spaces that still manage to cost a pretty penny.  How I long to move to Gwanghwamun...
8) No big dogs.
9) "Pay as you go" cell phone plans that leave me with a jaw-droppingly high monthly bill.
10) 13-hour time difference.  I miss my friends and family in America ㅠㅠ

우리가 사랑하게됐어*

* = we fell in love.  For 혜미 :)

Saturday night blogging after a full day of wedding-watching, presentation-memorizing, sushi-eating, and endless conversation.  To address the first,  congratulations to my beautiful friend Hyemi Unni!  행복하게 살기를 바랍니다 ^^

Avid readers of my blog (assuming I have those) will notice a slight change to Dana in Soko v.2's layout - baddabing, I changed the header.  I was going to switch it to the album shot that SNSD did for their Japanese promotions of "Genie," but decided that (1) since most of readers don't know who SNSD is (shock!  horror!  inconceivable!), it might look a little creepy that I selected a banner of 9 smokin' hot Korean girls to essentially represent me in the blogosphere and (2) this is MY blog, not theirs.  They have a billion fan cafes - just cruise on over to soshified.com for more information (I may or may not be a registered member of this site).  Anyway, I decided that the header will henceforth be a picture that is in some capacity related to Korea or my time here and will change semi-frequently (especially now that I have figured out how to use my computer's pre-installed photo editing program).  Ironically, the first picture I have selected was NOT taken in Korea, but hey, what better example of the harmonious relationship between East and West? :)

But alas, harmony is not always the name of the game here - at least not for me.  I knew I'd be in for a bit of a hard time once Unni and all of my other friends left for their various international destinations, but I had a least a little bit of faith that I would be fine once I was busier.  I also had a fair bit of hope that I would find friends in my program.  I don't want this to sound discouraging to people considering the year-long Light at Sogang, but it has been really hard to find people who will relate to your age/experience in this program.  I know that this is a highly personal experience (I think Tyler and Bob, who were on year-long Lights last year, had plenty of friends in their classes), but nonetheless it is really striking to me that in my three semesters now (counting last summer), there has only been ONE AMERICAN FEMALE in any of my classes.  I'm serious.  All of the Americans I meet here are guys, and most of them (or the ones that I have met, at any rate) have followed a similar trajectory - graduate from college, go teach English in Japan, learn Japanese, come to Korea, learn Korean.  And don't get me wrong - most of them are great people, it's just that I am and always have been a girly girl who likes gabbing about feelings and gossiping and getting my nails did and shopping.  Just try and get a guy to go with you for a mani/pedi.  I DARE YOU.

p.s. guys are also not big fans of sappy things and whining, nor are they big on giving out hugs.

Anyway, the point is (in my own personal opinion) that the Sogang program, which requires an insane amount of proactivity to begin with (and that's just for dealing with classes), also requires one to be proactive if they wish to build connections with those around them and make solid friendships.  This might mean reaching beyond the confines of Sogang's KLEC and getting a little creative.  For example, I started browsing the language exchange message boards on both Sogang and Ewha's websites, sent out a couple of messages, and got a positive response from a senior girl at Ewha named Habin, whom I am now meeting on Monday at 2pm.  From our very limited text message conversations, she seems nice and friendly, and it's my hope that she'll be able to connect me to a wider circle of Korean friends.  That's essentially how I got so connected to the Seoul Philharmonic, of which many musicians have become irreplaceable friends of mine here - so let's hope that pattern repeats itself here.

It's worth noting in print (because as I once said, I blog because therapy's pricey, yo) that:

1) There are people in this country who care about me, love me, and will be there for me if I reach out to them.  The ladies from the Seoul Phil, Unni's parents, and assorted friends from here and there have made that very clear.  If only the tragedy (part sarcasm) of loneliness didn't obscure that very definite reality so often.

2) I am capable of enjoying my time here, even if it requires more effort than it did at Yale.

3) I am not a person who should live alone, and therefore have decided that roommates, like them or not, are an essential part of feeling connected to something tenuous.  I know this is a risky idea and that happiness should come from within and blah blah blah, but I don't see why the two are mutually exclusive to begin with.  This single-occupant studio apartment will be, I hope, the last one I call home.

4) I am not forgotten about by those who are on the other side of the world, even though the lack of regular or easy communication can sometimes make it feel that way.

I hope you didn't read that.  Anyway, we will muse now on happier topics, bulleted for your convenience.

• REAL sushi.  Despite being a regular at Miya's, Sushi-on-Chapel, and Gourmet Heaven (fushi ftw!), I've never had real sushi - I mean the kind that is not a maki roll, the kind that's basically just a sliver of raw fish on a lump of wasabi-coated rice.  Having had it today (meal generously provided by Unni's parents, who may be the nicest people in all of Seoul - see below for reasons, beyond the whole letting-me-crash-at-their-place-for-3-weeks deal), I am not sure that I am totally cut out for it.  I don't care it this makes me unclassy or uncultured - pass that maki roll stuffed with avocado and fried crab meat.  As a side note, if I hear one more Japanese person bitch about how spicy Korean food is, I'm going to cram a fistful of wasabi up their nose.  How can they complain when wasabi is nothing but flavorless death to one's taste buds by being too mother effing spicy??  Seriously, I think wasabi is one of the most disgusting food products ever created and I think it in no way enhances the taste of anything, especially not raw fish.  All it tastes like is an inhalation of fire.  I would rather eat a tablespoon of 고추장, spicy red pepper paste, then have anything flavored with even a hint of wasabi.
• Korean pears.  Next week is one of Korea's biggest holidays, 추석 (Chuseok), which is essentially Korean Thanksgiving.  Celebrated around the time of the harvest, it is typically a time for families to gather and pay respects to one's ancestors.  As I understand it, this requires (much like American Thanksgiving) a hefty amount of food - and food is getting a bit more expensive here, as a typhoon recently wiped out a whole bunch of fruit crops (example: apples are now 2 for about $10.  wtfno).  Anyway, after dinner with Unni's parents today, they gave me three Korean pears, and since these are typical of foods for Chuseok (I think?), I don't even want to think about how much this would have cost.  They also gave me a huge-ass box of what appears to be extremely high-quality seaweed.  I attracted a bit of attention on the subway ride home with all of this food.  I do not understand how these people are so nice.  What are they getting out of it in return??  Am I that striking of a conversationalist?  Do they think I will stop being nice to Jung Min Unni if they don't buy me things?  Obviously not, so they must just be the nicest people on the planet.  Also, I don't know if you have ever seen a Korean pear, but they are (no exaggeration) the size of my face.  The bag containing the 3 of them easily weighs 7-8 pounds.  Don't believe me?  Well, you'll just have to take it at face-value, because Blogger is being atrocious and not letting me upload the image of my face obstructed by a pear that I purposefully took FOR THIS BLOG.
• Glasses in 20.  You know, it really is ridiculous that glasses in America are so expensive - the last pair that I purchased was over $150, and it was from the insurance bin at Lenscrafters.  They were so poorly made the in under 2 years, the lenses were irrevocably scratched and the ear grips had come unscrewed twice.  Well, I will never (okay probably not never) buy another pair of glasses in the States because glasses here are mega-cheap and ready in about as much time as it takes for your food to come out at a Greek diner.  I got a brand new pair of really nice glasses, ready in 20 minutes - price breakdown: frames, 20,000 KRW (~$17), lenses 30,000 KRW (~$27).  Total = $44.  What.  And it was only that expensive because I did not opt for the cheapest frames and lenses.  Had I done that, the glasses would have been $14.  Please pinch me.  The only problem is that they don't correct for my rather severe astigmatism (sorry, I do not know that word in Korean), but since I really only use my glasses as a backup to my contacts/around the house, this is not a problem at all.  KOREA. FOR. THE. WIN. 
• I am starting to think a bit more seriously about my future in this country, and am wondering (just wondering!  don't start panicking!) what it might be like to do a graduate program in this country.  I've already pitched the idea to the all-knowing Korea expert conveniently located in the Light Fellowship office and picked up some application information from Ewha Womans University regarding their grad school of international studies, but have some serious consideration to do.  More on this story as it develops (and don't start panicking!).

I'm sure there is more that I'm forgetting (there always is, inevitably), but I am too tired to recall much now, and I also have 3 days off this week for the aforementioned holiday, so I'm sure I'll have more to say in the near future.  I have some potential plans, all of which are unconfirmed, but I'll keep the masses posted.  In the meantime, I have my first Level 5 presentation on Monday, so wish me luck!


To my Korean readers (in case I don't manage to post before Tuesday), 추석 즐겁게 보내기를 바랍니다!

와플 파이*

* = waffle pie.  Not a song, but all I can think about right now.  See below.

In lieu of going out to get the cream-filled toasted waffle drizzled with caramel syrup (all for less than $1!) that I would do terrible things to have right now, a blog post.  Less delicious, more nutritious.  Sigh.

So Level 5 progresses, and its honestly not the Amityville-esque horror that I was anticipating.  Really, success in the level comes down to one thing and one thing only, and that is how much you put into it.  If you diligently put at least 2 hours a day towards previewing the next lesson and reviewing today's, class will be so much easier and your teacher won't eat you.  Not that she would anyway, but I'm still kind of terrified of Park Jin Hee Sunsaengnim.  I cannot in any way gauge what she thinks about me or anyone in our class.  She might very well hate all of us, but that's probably not true because she puts "good job" panda bear stamps on our homework, and a truly cold-hearted person probably wouldn't even own a stamp like that anyway.  I have heard that although she's brutal at the onset, she's one of the best teachers at Sogang, which is probably why she's teaching the most difficult level.  I am actually genuinely looking forward to seeing how things unfold here.

In other news, I came across a rather startling realization, or rather, have gradually realized something to be true in the past couple of days.  It's a hard truth to swallow, so I'll just come out and say it: I'm actually getting somewhat competent in Korean.

This is not in any way, shape, or form bragging.  Actually, it's kind of a scary thing to think of, because (and I don't know if this is true for other Fellows/people who have come to live in Korea) I got very used to the "oh, no, there's no way I can do that" attitude, and because I have so many beautifully kind Korean friends, it was only too easy to get them to generously help or outright do things for me.  In other words, my usual reaction if something comes up that I have to deal with is..."JUNG MIN UNNI.  HELP."

I think that that's slowly changing as I watch my friends carry out the interactions that I was too afraid to do and realize that I very well could have done that myself.  Or, in the absence of friends to help (damnit America, stole all my peeps), having to do things myself that originally caused me a serious amount of stress but turned out to be completely no big deal in the end.  Examples include, but are not limited to: (1) ordering takeout from my favorite 죽 restaurant, (2) calling my landlady to fix my cracked shower head (which not only resulted in me getting a new shower head installed for free, but also a plate of watermelon and a bag of chips from my landlady for no apparent reason - I mean, I was the one who accidentally cracked the shower head in the first place, so...yeah, that was surprising), (3) returning defective purchases to stores.  To elaborate on the last one, I purchased a fabulous navy blue fall jacket at my favorite store near Ewha (I've become a regular - seriously, I'm all buddy-buddy with the two girls that work there, who have honestly got their hustle down so well that I can't help but buy something every time I walk in) and didn't notice until I got home and tried it on again that one of the pockets was sewn in backwards.  I couldn't even make this stuff up, could I?  Anyway, since I am a person who pretty much perpetually has her hands stuffed into jacket pockets, but also a person who rarely complains or returns things even in America, this presented a conundrum.  Eventually, I decided that I should go to the store and ask for an exchange (given my relationship with the store, I figured this would be no problem), but my Korean abilities of course stopped me.  I tried to figure out some way around this, and of course my first order of business was to send a ridiculous text message to Unni's internet phone that read, "How do you say, 'the pocket is sewn in backwards' in Korean?"  But by this point, it was already almost 2am in America, Unni was surely asleep, and I feared that if I waited too long to make the exchange, they wouldn't have any other jackets left (it's quite a tiny store).  So I did the only thing I could do: I went myself and bumbled through an explanation of what was wrong with the coat and it was fine.  Of course it was fine.  Granted, my explanation was probably not the most eloquent, but I was understood just fine and one of the workers gladly gave me a new jacket after personally checking to make sure that the pockets on this one weren't defective.  I walked out of the store smiling wider than I probably have all week, and it was only partially due to how much I love this jacket.

I suppose this means an end to all or most of my pathetic insistence of incompetence here.  Probably not totally; I mean, I am in no way claiming that I can do whatever I want with my oh-so-fly Korean skillz, because like it or not, I'm still only "intermediate" by Sogang standards.  But I think I'm okay doing the daily life thing, which at this point, is good enough for me.

Other developments of late:
1) Due to the aforementioned workload, I've been spending ungodly amounts of time in coffee shops, but I've recently discovered that my body is highly, highly sensitive to caffeine.  It took me a while to realize this because I'm not a coffee drinker and spent the better part of the summer drinking smoothies or frapaccino-esque beverages that contain more flavored syrup than anything else, but with the cooler evenings, I've started to drink lattes and espresso.  Consequently, I have become something of an insomniac.  If I have a cup of coffee, even a latte or something that hasn't got more than a shot of the stuff in it, I can't fall asleep until 4-5am at the earliest.  Seriously, one night this week I was up til 6am totally wide-eyed.  It was a disaster.  So now I've got to figure out a way to reconcile the fact that I find it really difficult to concentrate on work in my tiny apartment and can no longer drink caffeinated beverages after 3pm, unless I decide to party all night long.  Looks like a lot of hot cocoa is in my future?
2) Not included in my Light Fellowship budget is money to indulge my intense desire for gym membership, which is actually ridiculously expensive here (~$50 a month is considered cheap. WTF).  While I haven't completely ruled out purchasing a membership, I decided that I should try my hand at exercising the free way, which would be...running.  If you know me well, you'll know that I abhor running above all other forms of exercise, but I am cheap and running is free, so...there you go.  The only price I pay here is a hefty amount of personal strain and embarrassment: the strain from being so inept at running that I'm huffing and puffing after a 12-minute mile, the embarrassment from the fact that NOBODY EXERCISES OUTDOORS in this country.  Originally, I planned to go out to the Han River to run, but since this involves a subway ride longer than 15 minutes, I ditched it in favor of the running tracks available at both Yonsei and Ewha Universities, both within walking distance of my apartment.  The tracks are fine except that both have their...problems, for lack of a better word.  The track at Yonsei, for example, is a legit quarter mile track, but I have yet to see a single female exercising on or near it.  The only people who are even around there are dudes playing on the soccer field the track encircles.  As an American, I obvs draw attention to myself for sticking out, but I stick out doubly as an American female in shorts, a tshirt, and track sneakers.  Now, this could be resolved nicely at Ewha, since it's a woman's university, but the track is pathetically small and unkept because women in Korea don't work out, they just don't eat.  I can never be sure how far I've run because it is definitely not a quarter mile, and my only companions on this track are (no joke) grandma-aged woman who come to exercise there and gossip.  Clearly, it's a huge dilemma, almost as big as the fact that I mother effing hate running to begin with.  The things I'll do to not be a fatass...

Anyway, I realized that I've taken like, a pathetic number of pictures in this country, so I'll make an effort to upload more.  Perhaps I'll start tomorrow; I've been given a complimentary ticket to tomorrow night's Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra concert in Seocho-gu (thank you Jungran Unni ^__^), so if I can smuggle in my camera, maybe I'll be able to post some shots of my beautiful orchestra unnies in action.

Out.

너는 내일을 살고, 나는 오늘을 살아*

* = you live tomorrow, I live today.  One of my favorites - Younha, "Broke Up Today."

I never thought I would be terribly grateful to see the end of any school vacation, but it was almost with relief that I started my fall semester on Wednesday.  Not that I wasn't grateful for the opportunity to rest up and relax a bit after finals, but the combination of all of my friends leaving and having absolutely (and I mean ABSOLUTELY) nothing to do was a bit much.  Also, the weather has been atrocious (it has rained every day for about 4 weeks now; we had a typhoon yesterday that was so strong that the winds woke me up at 5am), which kind of ruled out any sort of exploring or outdoor activity that I could have partaken in.  I developed a kind of cabin-fever induced depression from spending upwards of 10 hours a day in my rinky-dinky apartment.  It almost boiled down to hysterical searches for illegal movie-hosting websites just so I would have something to do for 2 hours (movies watched: Ratatouille, Legally Blonde, Wedding Crashers).  Fortunately, I have been gloriously lifted out of my funk because (1) school started and now I am busy again, (2) divine providence has sent more musicians to be my friends, and (3) the internet phone connection to Jung Min Unni is amazing.  Let us take some time to briefly elaborate on these fantastic developments

1) School.  Having successfully completed Level 4 (by the way, prospective Sogang students can find my final report here - you'll need a Yale NetID to log-in and see it, sorry other readers!), I am now a student in Level 5.  I quote a past Fellow in referring to this as the "dreaded Level 5," so called because it is supposedly the most difficult level at Sogang.  Having only been in class for 2 days, it is already pretty obvious to me why it has earned this reputation.  The jump between Levels 4 and 5 is enormous.  I'm not saying that it's impossible to handle - but it definitely, definitely, definitely will require more time and dedication to perform well.  Whereas in Levels 1-4 the textbooks were accompanied by an English supplement that explained all grammar patters and defined all vocabulary in English, the Level 5 supplement is...all in Korean.  This includes all definitions, explanations, and example sentences.  When I first saw this, a number of colorful expletives came to mind, but it's actually not so bad - it just requires more intimate time spent with your electronic dictionary/cellphone dictionary/the AMAZING Eng-Kor dictionary available on www.naver.kr.  The speaking class is also largely focused on reading, which is new; I am terrible at reading, and so I am simultaneously grateful for the extra practice and terrified that my teacher will out me in front of the whole class for being abysmal at it.  Speaking of my teacher, she herself is mildly terrifying; I think I can count the number of smiles she's cracked so far on one hand.  Additionally, she speaks faster than any teacher I have ever encountered at Sogang, my other Level 5 teachers included.  This is probably going to be extremely beneficial to my listening, but it also means I break into something of a cold sweat whenever she talks.  It's cool - I understand her, it just requires a great deal more ATP (I don't know why I just referenced AP biology).  Rather hilariously, on the first day of class she gave a rather thorough self-introduction in the last 2 minutes of class; she didn't preface it with anything, she just kind of jumped in and was like, "My name is Park JinHee, I'm 34 years old, I'm not married, but I have a boyfriend, he's a foreigner and he's not in Korea right now, I've been teaching here for 5 years."  And then she left.  Okay.

Listening class has been replaced with a video class in which we watch 5-10 minutes of a Korean drama per day and then talk about how none of us understood any of it.  I will inform the masses of progress if I ever make any.

2) New Friendz!  So after Jung Min Unni left, I moped around for a day and a half and then decided I had to make more Korean friends.  Fortunately, I have some contacts that she left me as well as my dear friends from the Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra, who have been very, very good to me.  They invited me out to dinner on Tuesday, where I was given a sort of group therapy session on being alone in a foreign country, but it was lovely to see their concern and to know that they care about me and my well-being.  One girl, a cellist (am I destined to just find cellists?) named Jungran has been exceptionally, exceptionally nice - she used to live alone in Paris, so I guess she knows what it's like to have to completely build a new life from scratch.  She's made an extra effort to call me and include me in things and introduce me to people, and I'm honestly too grateful for words.  Especially because I am definitely NOT cool enough to be hanging out with her - she's the associate principal cellist of the Seoul Phil, is kind of a big deal (seriously - she's pretty famous here!), speaks perfect French, English, and Korean, is super fashionable, and has tons of friends.  I don't know why, but it always surprises me when people think I am interesting enough to be deemed hang-out-worthy, especially musicians who are 3+ years older than me.  What will they do when they find out that I'm actually a huge loser??

I'm also trying to make more friends at Sogang (am I a snob for always ditching the school peeps to hang out with my Korean friends?).  Interestingly enough, I have not met a SINGLE WHITE AMERICAN GIRL in any of my classes at Sogang - all of the Americans are dudes.  We'll see how this goes.

3) Old Friendz!  For the interested masses, Jung Min Unni arrived safely at Yale.  She called me last night and it was so nice to hear her voice and to talk to her (even if it was at 2:30am).  I realize that I am far luckier and far more blessed than I often think I am, and I am lucky to have a best friend who reminds me of that.  The amazingness that is technology literally puts her at just a phone call away (from my Korean cell!  I don't even have to use Skype!), and we're planning fun things for my November trip.  Looks like I might actually get to go to a Yale Philharmonia Concert (throwback!) AND the Yale-Harvard Game!  If you will be there too, let me know (I'm looking at you, Zehra Hirji!)

On the subject of the Yale Phil, I counted on my trusty Google Calendar, and if I was correct, I attended 27 concerts at Yale last year - 6 Yale Phil concerts, a handful of afternoon/evening chamber concerts, something like 10-15 degree recitals, and the Yale Cellos show.  For a non-musician who knows nothing about music and can only recognize one piece that was played out of all the pieces played in in all of those concerts (holla Schubert Trout Quintet!), that is borderline absurd.  I loves it.  Beeteedubs, I'm probs going to a trumpet recital tomorrow and a Seoul Phil show next week.  Yup.

I probably could ramble on for longer, but it's late here and I ought to go to bed; I'm a little sick with a sore throat, and since I was up late chatting and up early listening to a typhoon yesterday, I best be sleeping.

난 너에게*

* = from me to you.  Davichi, 2010.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blogging with a brief...uh, I don't know what this is.

Today, my best friend left to go back to America.  She's currently been on a plane for about 5 hours.  Without her, Korea will be a very different place.  Without being overly presumptuous, I think I can say that Yale will be a very different place (for her) without me, so we're both going to have a bit of adjusting to do.  But there's consolation; there's my planned trip in November (we're going to Woodbury Commons!  for some reason, all Koreans know and fantasize about visiting this place), the fact that she has an internet phone that enables me to text and call her directly from my Korean cell phone (technology for the win!), and the knowledge that no matter where we are or what happens, the way we feel won't change.  That sounds kind of ridiculous in English, but Korean speakers will often say in consolation, "내 마음 알지?" which literally translates to, "You know my heart, right?" or more accurately, "You know how I feel, right?"  What I mean to say, I guess (queen of eloquence right here) is that we will always have great love, respect, and feelings of deep friendship for the other.  A couple of thousand miles and a few months can never change that.  언니, 난 언니의 마음 알아.  언니 나의 마음 알지??  ㅋㅋ

언니, 사랑해

Because this post can't just be a cheesy mess, I'll add something...uh...less cheesy?  Anyway, because Unni has been so busy this week, she hasn't had time to see me or to say goodbye, so her parents, because they are the epitome of AWESOME,  invited me to come out to the airport to see her off there.  Her flight was at 11, so they told me to be there by 9am.  To which I respond: what's 9am?  Because I have been sleeping so much this break that I haven't woken up - at all - before noon.  But I will do anything for Unni, lucky girl, so I decided to get up at 6:45am (I planned to take an airport shuttle from outside of the Hyundai Dept Store and didn't want to chance it - in order to be there by 9, I'd have to be on a shuttle by 8:15 at the absolute latest).  I set an alarm and purposefully put it on the loudest setting - AND STILL MANAGED TO COMPLETELY SLEEP THROUGH IT.  It actually seems as though I turned it off in my sleep.  Now, this of course has a very good explanation - I didn't hear it (nor do I remember hearing it) because I was extremely extremely drunk last night having some fun with friends and got home at 4am late.  Ahem.  Anyway, I somehow miraculously woke up at 7:45am.  I shot out of bed like a bullet.  I have never, ever moved that quickly, I don't think.  Within 5 minutes, I was dressed and had applied a semi-full face of makeup (I only kind of looked as hungover as I currently feel).  I dragged my shoes outside and flew out the door, sprinting noisily to the bus stop in shoes that one should never run in.  I'd been to that bus stop before and knew vaguely where it was, but was too impatient to wait at the cross walk to go correctly to it (it's located in the middle of a giant multi-lane, two-way street - ah, city life), so I illegally jaywalked across 4 lanes and then (here's the kicker) jumped the fence that separates the bus stop and the highway.  Would I have done such things for anyone but Unni?  Or a better question, would I have done such things had I not still been slightly buzzed?  Or a better question still, would any of these things have been necessary if I had not been inebriated and HEARD MY ALARM WHEN IT WENT OFF?  Eh, maybe.

Anyway, my sprint paid off and I was on an airport shuttle by 8:05 and on my way to Incheon.  The trip only takes about 45 minutes from Sinchon, so I was more than on time - I got there before Unni and her parents by about 10 minutes.  They were easy to spot when they arrived, courtesy of Unni's giant blue cello case.  I thought we wouldn't be able to spend very much time together, but we actually got to spend a full hour - her parents let me wait with them on line for check-in, and because airports are sloooow, we obvs had a lot of time to chat.  Her boyfriend came, too, and it was actually a lot of fun for a morning spent at an airport terminal waiting to say goodbye to your best friend  After check-in, we had some drinks (non-alcoholic) with her parents and then she was off to great wide open (okay, so Yale is not that mysterious).  Of course, I was the only one who cried like a baby, but what can I say - I'm definitely a crier, and I don't think that's gonna change.  Having sent their daughter off numerous times before, Unni's parents were totally fine, and so I looked mildly crazy to onlookers - even at an airport, whitey still sticks out.  Anyway, we waved and waved until the giant blue cello case was no longer visible, and then her parents drove me home (but not before buying me two sandwiches and a cream puff that my omghungovergonnavomit self really didn't need - gotta love Korean parents).

I can't wait until I see the blue cello case and its owner again.  Safe trip, 언니, 먼곳에 있어도 우리 사랑 변치않을거야.  I love you.

넌 나의 구원*

* =  you are my salvation; from Epik High's One

An update!  And so soon - look who's making up for lost time!

Well, the official reason I'm updating today is because I have to (obviously) recount the tale of how Yonsei Severance Hospital charged me upwards of $300 to tell me that I have no food allergy.  The unofficial would be to sing the glories of Korean street food.  All in due time.

First up, My Very First Trip to the Hospital (Korean style):
Actually, it was not my first trip; it was more like my 4th or 5th, but this was the first time I've ever had a significant medical procedure done in this country, if you call an allergy skin test a "medical procedure," which is debatable - it's not like I got an appendectomy or a nose job (wait for it, kids!  I'm saving up my money!).  Anyway, if you have no idea why I needed to get an allergy test done, refer to this post for my near-death experience (literally) and let us begin.

So about three weeks ago, the combined powers of Jung Min Unni and her mom managed to get me an allergy consultation at Yonsei Severance Hospital, a giant hospital rather obviously affiliated with Yonsei University that is located just a short 10 minute walk from my apartment.  I was told that there was no need for me to speak Korean, as the doctor and nurse were fine with English; I later realized that Yonsei's staff clearly operates with a generous definition of what "fine with English" means, because neither of them were conversant enough to get everything across without my help in Korean.  In any case, the end result of the consultation was that the doctor ordered an allergy skin test, and why the consultation was necessary, beyond sucking $50 out of my wallet, for this obvious conclusion is still beyond me.

The actual test was scheduled for today at 1:40, and I got there right on time - only to be told that they wouldn't start my test until I paid first at the International Clinic.  Okay, because I was really going to try and dodge the check.  Thanks, Yonsei.  Anyway, after paying an absurd amount for the first visit, I went ahead and called my insurance company to beg politely ask if they could provide coverage despite "allergy" not being listed as part of my benefits.  They said that they were partnered with Yonsei Severance and so coverage was a definite possibility - they'd open a case for me and would call the hospital to see what they could do.  Well, I discovered they probably weren't able to do much - the asshole at the International Clinic who takes payment told me that the insurance company couldn't guarantee payment, and so I had to pay for the whole thing up front.  345,000 won (~$300).  I was so pissed I wanted to cry.  I took the receipt and kind of told the guy that this was bullshit, but of course that usually gets people nowhere, and I am no exception.  I'll be filing a claim for reimbursement and hopefully that will work out.

Payment issues aside, I decided to come prepared for this visit by bringing along Yoonhee Unni, a dear friend of mine who is also a cellist from the Yale School of Music, to translate (yes, for the record, the only Korean people who like me are musicians.  Michelle Cho is the obvious exception, but she might have played piano at some point like all other Asian children.  Or maybe she doesn't actually like me).  Yoonhee Unni has translated before, so I felt like she'd be pretty helpful in working between the doctor/nurse and me - IF THEY WOULD LET HER INTO THE ROOM.  Despite my near-begging, the nurse adamantly refused to let her into the testing room with me (which was just a portion of a room closed off with a curtain, goddammit!).  I was extremely pissed off, especially because the nurse - who tried hard, I'll give her that - couldn't even properly tell me which articles of clothing I needed to take off.  She could have told me in Korean, but at that point, I was so frustrated with the whole process that I refused to use anything but English.  I'm kind of a brat.

But why did I have to take ANY articles of clothing off?  In my (limited) experience, allergy skin tests are usually performed on the arm, no?  Well, turns out that despite my insistence at the consultation that I wanted/needed to be tested for a seafood and shellfish allergy, the doctor for some reason ordered a complete test for all food allergies.  I stole a glance at the medical sheet for this and was mildly horrified to discover that they planned to test me for 63 different allergies.  What the WHAT?  To state the obvs, my arm wasn't big enough for 63 tests.  Both arms wouldn't have even been enough.  So they drew a bunch of tic-tac-toe boards on my back and tested me there.  63 pricks in the back = nothankyou.

15 minutes of waiting for the test results and another 20 minutes of waiting for the damn doctor to tell me the test results (they couldn't have just done it right then and there?), I was informed that I tested negative for every single food allergy, all shellfish and fish included.  Pause for sigh of relief, but a tempered sigh of relief due to the outrageous cost of the whole ordeal.  The doctor said that it's possible that I'm allergic to a food additive - MSG or something like it - which could have been present on the shrimp or in some seasoning that I ate when I had the initial reaction.  His only other alternative was to test for an allergy to antibiotics, because I was on an antibiotic to treat a sinus infection when I had the reaction.  I declined to schedule a test for this, because (1) I'm fairly sure I'm not allergic to any antibiotic (I had already been taking it for 3 days prior to my near-death experience, so I think if I was allergic, something should have happened beforehand) and (2) unless I am guaranteed up-front coverage or am POSITIVE about getting a reimbursement, I am not paying for any further tests at Yonsei.  Given that I'll probably be making a trip to the US in November (details to follow), I could always just get tested there if I really felt like it.  The antibiotic test, as I was told, is a bit different because it's an eating test and not a skin test - and it takes all day.  You start in the morning, eat an antibiotic, wait 2 hours.  Eat another, wait 2 hours.  Repeat.  Repeat.  No thanks.

Anyway, I did get to spend time with Yoonhee Unni, which was great because she, too, is going back to America this weekend (whyyyyyyy), and I was given the green light to go out and eat a sushi smorgasbord if I so chose, so I guess this ordeal was kind of necessary and kind of a good thing.

Wait, did I just say I was given the green light to go eat fish again (after a horrifying 3 months of making all of my friends work around my stupid and actually non-existent dietary restriction)?  Oh, I did - so naturally, my first meal was - 포장마차 음식 (po-jang-ma-cha food)!!!  Also known as Korean street food.

I don't own this photo, but NOMS.  This is what it looks like.

 Now, before you freak out that Daddy's baby girl is eating poisonous street crap...don't.  Korea is not India.  Seoul is not Calcutta.  Korean street food is totally safe and absolutely mother effing delicious, SO MUCH MORE so than anything served in A-muh-rica.  It's served at little street carts called 포장마차 (po-jang-ma-cha), and typical offerings include 떡볶이 (ddeokbokki, fat rice cakes in spicy sauce), fish cake, dumplings, 순대 (soon-dae, Korean stuffed sausages), and other assorted fried goodies.  Because fish cake and a lot of the fried offerings contain fish (even ddeokbokki is cooked and served with fish cake), I haven't been able to eat at a single one all summer.  Knife in my heart.  Buuuut because I was told by official authorities that I can eat fish til the cows come home, I decided that my first meal must naturally be these delicacies of which I was so long deprived.  That, and these street carts are popular for people eating alone, which...yeah.

Anyway.  There are street carts everywhere, and most offer the same things, so I picked one whose rice cakes looked to my liking and settled in for a very, very satisfying platter of ddeokbokki.  Up until today, I've only been able to eat ddeokbokki at certain types of restaurants that prepare it on the table for you (as in it's not been pre-cooked in a giant vat and then dished out).  If it's made to order, I could tell them to leave the fish cake out.  But restaurant ddeokbokki is almost never as good as the street variety, and those fat spicy rice cakes that I consumed today were some of the best I've ever had.  And the cost?  ~$1.50.  BAM

But after paying the very nice ajumma and taking my leave from this particular street cart, I decided I was still hungry.  I wandered around a bit until I found another, and this time ordered pan-fried dumplings.  For the same price of $1.50, I was expecting maybe 5 or so, but the ajumma gave me over 10, I think - and then generously slathered them in spicy ddeokbokki sauce.  I ate them rather animalistically.  It was glorious.  I walked away with lips burning from all that red pepper paste and a very happy stomach.  So it wasn't the healthiest of meals, but it was a wonderful way to celebrate emancipation from dietary restriction.

Although I'll probably never eat shrimp again for as long as I live.  Blame it on the Garcia effect.

*POST SCRIPT
This made my entire day.  Seriously.  Watch it even if you don't give a sh*t about the Ground Zero Mosque.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Parent Company Trap
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

나 땜에 Hot, Hot

* = because of me, everything's hot; from Secret's fabulous new single Madonna.  Secret may or may not be on a mission to salvage all of Kpop, because they are just about the only group right now that isn't making me vomit with disappointment.  Nine Muses?  GP Basic, anyone?  I'm sorry, but there just is no need for any group to have a member that is still in elementary school.  Jesus H. Christ.

 

A whole two (count 'em, TWO) people (who are in no way connected to each other) told me they read my blog this week and were looking forward to an update!  Okay, so one of them was my father, buuuut here's me delivering.

I will leave a majority of my Sogang stuff for my Light Fellowship end-of-program report (which I will link in a future blog or post separately for the interested masses), but I will comment that I had a very memorable and fruitful time in Level 4.  While it wasn't the most gripping or fascinating of levels, I think I solidified a majority of the things I've learned in the past, which is exactly what I set out to accomplish.  The final exams were fair, and even though my speaking interview final threw me for a major loop in that the teacher did not ask a single question from the list of 19 questions we were supposed to prepare (seriously, I spent hours constructing and memorizing answers with Jung Min's mom and dad, over a very delicious home cooked meal, I might add), everything went smoothly enough and I am pleased to report that I earned the highest scores I've ever earned at Sogang this semester!  Although I pretty much had nowhere to go but up after last summer...yeesh.  Anyway, for your viewing pleasure, here is a picture of my listening/speaking class; pictured at center is the greatest, most fabulous teacher that Sogang has, and I mean that.  I wrote on her teaching review that I thought every single Sogang teacher should model themselves after her.  Future Sogang-ers, if you're ever fortunate to encounter 장수진 선생님 (Jang SooJin Sunsaengnim), thank yo' lucky ass stars.

FABULOUSITY.  My 4금 classmates (L-R) Daisuke, Ryoko, Miho, Some Dumb American, Jason, Steven, Geoffrey, Do Tsz, Tamara, 장수진 선생님, Ai

As it goes, Sogang's levels (in terms of numbers of students) resemble a pyramid; there are many more students in levels 1-4 than there are in 5-7.  I think it's generally acknowledged/understood by students and teachers alike that completing Level 4 means you're at a level of BASIC proficiency in Korean, i.e. if you're not interested or it is not necessary for you to become completely fluent or advanced, you can stop spending your money here.  Out of my classmates, only 6 out of 10 will continue on to the next level, which may seem like a lot, but it's really only a little more than half.  Out of the 4 who won't go on, 3 are returning to their home countries.  Such is the cycle of life at a quarterly language school; people come and they go.  But a smaller pool of students means a higher likelihood of winding up with at least SOME friends in my future Level 5 class!  Fingers crossed, I suppose.

I will say that I'm kind of freaked out for Level 5, because it's supposed to be Sogang's hardest level and I know people who have, despite their best efforts, outright failed it; but I guess I'm in a good position to begin this level, because ALL OF MY FRIENDS ARE CURRENTLY LEAVING ME and so 80-90% of my afterschool distractions have just become obsolete.  Sad face.  Seriously, when Jeong-ah Unni left, I sobbed inconsolably in a subway station that was just empty enough for me to draw attention to myself.  Jung Min Unni and JaeIn Unni are leaving on Saturday, and I don't even want to talk about it because I tear up every time I think about it.  사랑하는 언니들, 가지마!  가면 안돼!  언니들 없이 못 살아!

(Oh, you wanted the translations for that?  It's just some melodramatic whining.  Google translate it if you're really interested).

The start of a new semester and the start of a new season (which, THANK GOD; I literally, and I mean literally, cannot take this summer weather anymore.  The scorching heat, the unbearable humidity, the horrific sudden downpours of HOT RAIN (WTF) and my tired summer wardrobe are starting to piss me off) brings not only new clothes from Uniqlo (I'm in a spare-no-expense kind of mood, which is kind of a problem, but I'm so sick of my cartoon-character clothes from summer that I find it totally necessary to buy magenta flannel - it's not as bad as it sounds), but serious considerations of my life plan and life goals from here on out.  I'll admit that Jung Min Unni's GRE insanity has contributed in large part to my sudden thoughtfulness on this subject, but nonetheless a plan had to be carved out, and so carve one I did.  And that plan is...Korea for 2 years!

Wait, what?

Yeah, I know my Fellowship runs out in May 2011, thereby forcibly returning me to the good ol' US of A, but I came to the rather obvious realization that once I return, I will...uh...kind of have nothing to do.  I will have approximately 0 dollars (maybe some chump change/something like $2000 if I choose to move out of my apartment and collect the deposit), no job, no tenable plans for pursuing higher education, and no place to live.  I mean, I could always move back in with my dad, but this plan is unappealing for a number of reasons, boredom and impracticality being the top two.  I just don't think I could get a good job that caters to my interests in my suburban home, and commuting to NYC is not really a feasible or inexpensive option.  Additionally, it is not really possible/a good idea for me to matriculate into graduate school in 2011 because (1) the money problem is a big problem (how am I supposed to put down a deposit on an apartment/pay for ANYTHING related to my education with 0 dollars?) and (2) Korea doesn't actually offer the GRE.  I'm not really clear on WHY that is (I heard it had something to do with Korea breaking the rules and information sharing, which actually doesn't surprise me as much as it should), but I haven't taken it yet and if I can't take it soon, I am ineligible to apply to grad school; most apps are due in the fall, which is...uh...basically now.

Staying in Korea for an additional year after my Fellowship ends solves these problems nicely.  I am fairly confident (hopefully not overly/unjustifiably confident) in my ability to get a decently-paying job in this country, and provided I keep living at my current location (although I'd like to get out of the student district if I'm no longer a student, sacrifices must be made), I can save a hella ton of money on rent and living expenses.  Plus, I can't see how getting work experience of any kind in Korea would hurt my resume, particularly if I plan to pursue Korea or East Asian regional studies in the future (see below for an explanation on that).  Essentially, then, what I plan to do is spend an additional year here, make some green, apply to grad schools, hopefully get in somewhere, and then matriculate in Fall 2012, three months before the predicted end of the world.  Awesome!

But Dana, you ask, surely you have to come home to take the GRE?  Wise point.  Which is why I've decided to come home immediately after my Fellowship ends in late May 2011.  I was planning to come back then at any rate, largely because I promised Jung Min Unni I would be at her graduation (a promise I am hellbent on delivering), but it actually winds up being perfect timing on a lot of fronts: my visa and Alien Registration Card all expire in early June.  So I figure what I can do is come home, re-apply for a work visa (pending that I actually have a job at which to work waiting for me in Seoul), visit family/friends, take the GRE (which I will have spent my final semester at Sogang studying for in addition to my Korean studies), and come back in June/July to begin what I hope will be a year-long position.  Bam chicka wham wham.

Of course, the best laid plans...well, usually get f*cked up at some point down the road.  But there's room for flexibility (Dear Light Fellowship Office, I'll come work for you if you need/want me!  I promise, I'd be a great office worker!  Just like Pam Beasley!), and I tend to be the type of person who believes that opportunities generally come when one least expects them, and so I'll be keeping an open eye and ear out for anything that sounds good.  But in the meantime, at least I have some skeleton of a timetable/plan.

But Dana, you now ask, isn't "grad school" kind of a nebulous term?  Surely you must have given SOME thought to where/what you might like to study.  Another wise point!  Given my current state of unpreparedness, I started researching graduate programs I might like to be a part of and concluded that the best two options are either (1) a Master's degree in East Asian regional studies or (2) a Master's in international relations.  The latter is much less likely than the former.  I'm actually just not prepared to undertake formal study in IR, and I think I'd be far more useful in any career if I focused as specifically on Korea as is possible.  Unfortunately, this is actually impossible at most schools (the number of schools that even have the resources to make a decent Korean studies program is sad and pathetic), but I managed to find a couple (okay, like 3) at which it might be plausible.  The University of Washington, for example, has a combined Korean Studies/International Studies Master's program, which is great...if I wanted to move to Seattle (benefit: JAEIN IS MOVING TO SEATTLE!!!).  But since I'm more inclined to stay on the East Coast, my other two choices are...uh...Harvard and Columbia, which don't offer individual Korea programs, but offer students studying East Asia the chance to focus on Korea.

To be fair, I haven't done anywhere near as much research as I should, and I'll continue to look into other programs at other schools, but let me just say that I'm highly disappointed that I can't add Yale to the list of possibilities.  I loved being at Yale and would love to spend more time there, but it's just totally infeasible.  Yale's East Asia graduate programs don't even allow for concentration on Korea, but even if they did, I wouldn't go near it.  I know what sort of resources Yale has for students interested in Korea and they are...approximately zero (which is the same as the number of dollars I expect to have left after this year - oh hey!).  If you're listening, Yale...FIX THIS.  Thanks.

So a potential 2 years in Korea, a potential job in Korea, potential graduate school applications to Univ of Wash, Harvard, and Columbia, and...a potential visit to the States in not only May 2011, but also November 2010?  I'll definitely keep you posted on that ;)

Because there have been too many words in this post, I'll end with some pictures of ALEC 2010, the leadership conference that I spoke at over my week-long break in July.  It was much more fun/productive than is this current two-week break, in which I have done little more than eat, sleep, and watch The Daily Show re-runs online (anyone care to comment on the ::cough:: "Ground Zero Mosque"?).  These pictures can't possibly convey everything, but this conference was an amazing chance to share what I've learned with Korean students while listening to their concerns, questions, and stories.  If I have time next year, I'll definitely be going back.

The speakers of the conference (all Yalies - two undergrads and the rest grad students) make up the bottom row; the rest of the kids are students of a 학원, a private after-school academy, whom we got to speak to while in Jinju, a city near Gyeognju in the southern part of the country.  I'm holding the Yale banner because my dress was deemed too inappropriate to be photographed (there are certain drawbacks to speaking at conferences run by mega-churches).

The conference was actually kind of a big deal - everywhere we went, there were enormous banners greeting us!  Ted, another Korea fellow, posted a picture of the banner in Jinju; he went there to visit relatives and was kind of surprised to see a giant banner welcoming Yale students to the city.  This particular banner was found at Yonsei University, one of Korea's top three most prestigious universities, where the first part of the conference was held.

The conference poster!  Which was actually everywhere, including all over Yonsei University!  This poster, believe it or not, kind of saved my life - you see, I was VERY sick the first two days of the conference, and on my walk to Yonsei, I thought I was going to pass out from exhaustion, weakness, and an inability to carry all of my luggage (we were due to go to Cheongju that night, hence we had to be prepared).  Fortunately, because of the poster, some students recognized me and offered to help with my bags.  It was the first time in my life I've ever felt like a celebrity.  Little did I know how much of a celebrity I would feel like later on in the conference, in which I was asked to sign numerous autographs and pose for a thousand pictures.  We were literally followed by a camera crew the entire time we were there.  Papa-paparazzi!

ME GIVING A LECTURE AT YONSEI UNIVERSITY!  I look so badass here.

Participating in a Q&A panel on our expertise and study at Yale.  During this, someone asked me a question about the reunification of North and South Korea.  Uhm.

All of the conference's key players!  (L-R) Jeong-ah Unni, who came to accompany Alvin on the piano (we got to room together!!  It was SO MUCH FREAKING FUN), Kyle Cromer, Yong Rao, Joshua Beach, me, Head Pastor Lee Kyung Eun, CheonHa Jeon, Alvin Wong, Romil Chouhan, Devin Noblin, Chris Moon, Hanna Jeon, NaNa Jeon.  Special thanks to all of the Jeon family for inviting us and taking care of us SO WELL (literally, we were treated like VIPs...amazing food, great accommodations, etc)

I think this was at Yonsei.  Can you find me?

Expect an update soon, for I am finally (finally finally FINALLY) getting tested for my seafood allergy TOMORROW!

Jangmiiii out.