on the first day

After a weekend of relative tourist-ing (we went to Gyeongbokgung Palace and poked our heads inside the National Folk Museum of Korea before deciding that we were too tired to explore), classes have begun. For whatever reason (it certainly can't be my astounding linguistic skills), I was placed into Level 3 here at Sogang while everyone else in my class was placed into Level 2. I'm fairly sure I don't belong in L3; with Lee Sunsaengnim, we only finished 7/8 chapters of book 2A, and we never even looked at 2B. In fact, I never even purchased book 2B, so I really have no idea what it covers or if it is terribly different from 2A. In any case, I suppose my position is unique because Level 2 would assuredly cover half of what I already know and then introduce new material a month or so down the road; Level 3, on the other hand, introduces new material starting tomorrow on the assumption that everything in Level 2 has been learned and memorized. I guess I really belong in Level 2.5, which unfortunately doesn't exist. I don't quite know what to do, so I suppose I'll give Level 3 a shot for the first week and if it seems impossible by that point, I'll ask to switch down to 2.

I already have metric tons of homework. I'm looking at the pile of papers I received right now with bleary, jet-lagged, relatively homesick (or at least Yale-sick) eyes, and I can hardly bring myself to lift a pencil. It's all so much and I feel so ill-equipped to tackle it. Honestly, I have no idea what to do with myself, feeling as I do. Don't get me wrong - I've been having a lot of fun exploring Seoul, riding the subway, eating foods I never thought I'd try, hanging out with other Yale Light Fellows, etc.; but every once in a while (now being one of those times), everything that I'm doing seems totally and completely absurd. For someone who has quite a bit of wanderlust, it turns out that I'm also a total coward who quakes in the face of a new travel experience. Sometimes, I think that I like the idea of saying that I've been to such-and-such a place more than I like actually going there. From the minute I set foot on the airplane, I miss my friends, my family, my dog, my school, my normal, everyday life peppered with normal, everyday things. Being here is a surreal and fabulous opportunity, but my mind is elsewhere and it is preventing me from enjoying everything that this can be. I don't know how to pull my head out of the sand, but I know that it needs to be done, and fast.

Post-script: I'm fairly sure this happened to me when I was in Spain in the summer of 2007 as well, and anyone who knows me can attest that that was one of the best experiences of my life. So I don't find this all that worrisome, but for the time being, it sucks. Game, set, match.

I'm sorry for whining. In the meantime, a list of observations:
1) Everyone here is Korean. This is totally and completely obvious, but when you look like me, you really realize it. So far, I've not been the victim of too many awkward stares, but I often hear myself referred to as 외국 사람 (foreigner) on the street.
2) I can't drink enough water with dinner. Korean food is spicy, and I'm not kidding. They have this penchant for putting 고추장 (gochujang), a spicy red pepper paste, on or in pretty much everything they eat. I find it currently possible to enjoy dinner only if I've had about 8 or 9 glasses of water to put out the fire in my throat. This is not to say that the food isn't delicious; a lot of it is. But I have a particularly low tolerance for spicy food, and the omniprescence of gochujang gets me every time.
3) The neighborhood where I live, Sinchon, doesn't seem to ever sleep. I think this is kind of a good thing. In contrast, everywhere else seems totally dead; the other day, we took the subway south of the river to the fairly ritzy Apgujeong, where we explored the plastic surgery clinic-lined streets of Gangnam (this phenomenon is something I'll probably address later), and it seemed remarkably quiet. Not a lot of people walking, a lot of expensive-looking cars.
4) I realize that I am only blogging now to put off doing my homework, which is pathetically only about a quarter done. It is currently ~11:00 PM, and my jetlagged self has 0 motivation. Sigh.

Jangmi out.